You Give Love A Bad Name
by nek0manc3r
Summary: Sequel to "Love Wins." Kyle's turn! Cartman finally won Stan, but there's a problem- he has to share. It would be fine if the one he had to share with hadn't been his mortal enemy only a week ago. But if things had worked out before, maybe they could again. Maybe. OT3- Styleman (Cartman, Kyle & Stan), developed Kyman. Somewhat OOC, Teen!boys. Pic by Giobobobo!
1. Chapter 1

**okay so this is the mentioned sequel to "love wins"**

 **if you don't read that first you may be confused but thats fine I guess**

 **now it's cartman and kyle's turn to bond**

 **credit to giobobobo to the pic!**

 **also, I don't own south park~**

 **please enjoy**

* * *

 _Stay awake. Stay awake._

Was it really that hard to do?

 _Just stay awake._

Cartman found himself failing to do so, as his eyelids stubbornly wanted to close and rest. He fought to keep them open, but this lecture was so boring.

Not only was he tired, he was distracted. He couldn't stop looking at Stan. Occasionally the two would meet eyes and share a smile. Stan would turn his attention back to the teacher, but Cartman couldn't take his fluttered attention off his new boyfriend. If he was confused as hell on the homework, the dirty blonde will just blame it on Stan for distracting him. Of course, Stan would probably retort with something like, " _I'm not that interesting._ "

Cartman sighed and leaned back in his chair, swinging his arm around the backside in an attempt to get comfortable, but nothing really seemed to workー these school desks were satanic. Designed for discomfort. They could at least pad the chair, but no. A clear sign they want students to suffer in every way imaginable.

The large make cracked his knuckles rather loudly, earning some disgusted looks shot his way.

"What? I'm just popping some bubbles," Cartman whispered loudly in defense, carelessly as usual.

"Eric?" The bitchy teacherー what was her name?ーsuddenly addressed him.

He slightly turned to face the front of the room. "Huh?"

"Am I to take your noisome behavior as an offer to answer this question?"

Cartman didn't even know she had asked the class a question.

"No ma'am," he rolled his eyes.

"Then I'll just select you to come and answer it," she replied snakily, holding out the white stub of chalk in front of her as a signal for Cartman to come up and take it.

Fuck. Normally Cartman would chew his way out of something like this, even if it resulted in going to the office. But things were different now. He couldn't stop thinking of Stan, what Stan would think. How he'd react. What he wants. Stan probably wouldn't want to see Cartman get himself in trouble. So great. There was no way out of this one.

Cartman slowly pushed his chair back from his desk and waddled up to the front of the class, taking the chalk. "I can solve this, no problem," he said, putting up his pride barrier. Maybe he could feel their witch of a teacher feel stupid by just solving the problemー

He raised the chalk and turned to the board, only to find a plague of gibberish wash over him. It was like a whole different language, he had absolutely no idea what to do. It was probably a simple math problem, but he hadn't been paying much attention, as much as he tried. He fiddled with the chalk anxiously until he heard the small clearing of a throat behind him.

Subtly, he turned to face the class and was surprised to see Kyle trying to get his attention by wavering his fingers. Once he had the larger male's attention he held up a small piece of paper that Cartman had to squint to read.

The answer is 2 ** _3_**.

Cartman shook his head slightly. What? Two threes? That didn't make sense.

Oh wait. He remembered learning those symbols. He tried to remember what that one meant.

But he couldn't. Time to make a guess.

He smiled cockily and turned to the board, writing out the answer.

"The answer... is... six," he said confidently, smacking the chalk down on the metal ledge and whirling around to return to his seat. He plopped down and heard some chatter and laughter among his peers. Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, he looked at Kyle, who had his face in his hands, and over to Stan, who was trying to contain his laughter by burying his head in his sleeves face down on his desk.

"No, Eric," the bitch said, not sounding the least bit surprised as she erased Cartman's writing and replaced it with her own. "The answer is two cubed. The evaluation of this expression should be simple-"

Cartman tuned the rest of her out as he slumped in his seat. This was nothing new, and it was starting to get tiresome. He just wanted to get out of there already.

It seemed like ages before the bell finally rang.

* * *

Cartman caught up to Stan and Kyle who were chatting by their lockers.

Stan shot Cartman an amused look. "Nice one," he said with a big smile, still finding the situation funny. Cartman chuckled in response.

"Anything to make the bitch mad," he tried, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "But it's not all my fault. Kyle egged me on."

"I did not," Kyle replied quickly, like he expected the other male to say such a thing. "I told you the answer. But you read me wrong. I told you before, you're not supposed to multiply the numbers in that case."

"Then what do you do, teach?" Cartman grunted, slumping against the wall.

"We've been over this," Kyle put a hand on his hip. "When the arithmetic powerー I mean, small number, is there, you take the bigger number, and multiply it by itself that many times."

Cartman grumbled. He recognized that explanation and mentally scolded himself for constantly forgetting. "Okay, I got it."

"You sure?" Kyle smiled down at him in disbelief.

"...no," Cartman reached into his jacket pocket and started again on an unfinished bag of cheese puffs. Eating a snack always made him feel better.

"Don't worry," the red-head said, the humor in his voice gone, replaced by a sweet tone. "You'll get the hang of it."

Cartman was surprised by his transition and peered at Kyle. "Whatever you say, Jew," he simpered and stuffed another handful of chips into his mouth.

"I'll take that as a confirmation," Kyle said before sitting down a couple feet away from Cartman, leaving room for Stan to sit down in the middle, but he shook his head.

"Sorry guys, I have to go home." Stan said, adjusting the straps from his back on his shoulders comfortably. "Rascal will get anxious if I'm gone too long."

"Right, I keep forgetting," Kyle said, putting a hand to his forehead. Rascal was the name of an injured raccoon that Stan had found recently, and naturally he took it into his care as was nurturing it back to good health himself.

"So sweet and typical," Cartman laughed, tossing the now empty back in the nearby trash bin. "Have fun making love to the rodent."

Stan ignored that comment. "See you guys later," he smiled sweetly at his two boyfriends and was out the door within the minute.

Kyle and Cartman both saw him off with a returning smile and waved. When Stan was out of sight, they both relaxed.

"He's so happy," Kyle pointed out, still gazing at the doors Stan had disappeared out of just a moment ago.

"Yeah," Cartman agreed, for he had been thinking the same thing. Ever since they'd become a trio Stan had nearly smiled more between then and now than he ever had his whole life.

Kyle reached around and took a book out of his bag and placed his thick red glasses on his face and began reading. Cartman sighed quietly. When the Jew started reading, there was no getting him out of it, with the exception of Stan. Nothing else seemed to distract Kyle enough to take his nose out of a good book.

 _Guess that cancels out small talk,_ Cartman thought, taking out his own textbook from another class and figured he might as well tackle the reading assignment. He had gotten better about doing those, cause they sure beat math. But it still bored him half to death.

His thoughts went back to the classroom. If he would just pay attention, he wouldn't have those problems, and he would never be laughed at. For the first time in his life Cartman was being slapped with insecurities every day. It all started when he fell head over heels for Stan. He never felt the need to improve himself, until now. But it was so much work. Why wouldn't he just be born perfect, like Kyle?

Wait, Kyle?

Cartman averted his eyes over to the red head, who was still reading his book. Unable to take his eyes off of him as a result of his thoughts, he went into another spacious ponder.

Kyle didn't need to change in order to impress Stan. Well, he wasn't perfect. There were the obvious anger issues, but even he'd gotten better about those lately. On the other hand, he was attractiveー Cartman didn't question himself for thinking that, because there was strong evidence. Girls were into him, although Kyle ignored them. He had a caring personality, even if he had a funny way of showing it sometimes. He had no problems with his family. He got along with his little brother and was on good terms with his parents. He was smart, he got straight As in all his classes. He was popular, he knew almost everyone and had a lot of friends.

The more positively Cartman thought about his new platonic acquaintance, the lower he thought of himself. He wanted nothing more than to improve himself and blow Stan away. But how was he supposed to compete with Kyle? The practice of polygamyーwhich he did recall learning in their anthropology course, after giving it some thoughtー was said to be more common nowadays. But that didn't make him used to it.

He sighed and put his head in his book. What was he gonna do?

* * *

 **reviews are nice eue**


	2. Chapter 2

**tfw you feel like you type for a long time but only type like 1800 words**

 **oh well**

* * *

Time for P.E. class the next day.

Cartman didn't know if he hated this or math more.

He hated it before, but it was now another reflection of his growing insecurity.

They started out running laps.

Oh Cartman _hated_ running.

Everyone in the class claimed to hate it but the dirty blonde felt as though he was the stick in the mud when he was the one being constantly lapped. Sometimes Kenny would slow himself down and run backwards in front of Cartmanー he claimed it was to keep him company but he knew it was only to give him shitー but it wasn't enough anymore.

Cartman could feel his heart pounding viciously as he forced his legs to keep moving. It had only been a couple of minutes into the running, but he was already on the verge of passing out. He really needed to exercise more.

He never would've imagined he'd have those thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Stan came up behind Cartman as they continued jogging laps around the gym, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Nu-uh," Cartman replied forcefully, taking in precious gasps of air. "This is bullcrap! Coach is tryin'a kill me with this!"

"Maybe you should tell him you're not feeling well," Stan suggested, jogging a bit quicker to run next to Cartman before slowing down to meet his pace.

Normally, Cartman would've done such a thing to get out of physical activities. But he was dating the best football player in their school now. Not only their school, but all the local high schools in Colorado. Cartman figured physical fitness was important to Stan and made a quiet oath to dedicate himself to it. But why did it have to be torture?

"Nah... I got this...," Cartman huffed, his arms swinging carelessly at his sides as he began to waddle in his running, trying to pick up the pace.

"Cartman, be careful," he heard Stan call to him, but he was determined to prove himself and kept going. He became concerned when he realized he was experiencing tunnel vision and he could hear his own heart beat. Everything went black for awhile after that.

He woke up with a pounding headache, but he felt much cooler and more relaxed than he did in the gym. He blinked his brown eyes open to find himself laying in bed in the nurse's office, a fan blowing on him.

* * *

"You're awake!" Stan exclaimed. Cartman hadn't even noticed the hippie sitting in a chair beside his bed, wetting a cool cloth and placing it to the larger male's forehead.

"Nnhh... I must have died and gone to heaven, because there's an angel here," Cartman snickered at his own cheesy line before going into a groaning fit of pain.

Stan smiled as a small blush appeared on his cheeks. "You're a corny bastard."

"Ay, when did angels start wearin' red shorts and gray v-necks? I mean it's sexy as hell, but damn." Cartman referred to Stan who was still in his gym clothes.

"I don't think that's heavenly language," Stan leaned down to place a small kiss on Cartman's cheek with a smile.

"Well if I'm rewarded like that for it, I'll keep it goin.'" He chuckled and sat up on the bed. "What the hell happened?" He asked as he pressed the cloth to his forehead.

"I think you worked yourself too much," Stan's smile was gone, replaced by a look of concern. "You must've lost your sense of direction. You ran right into the bleachers and tripped over. Knocked you right out."

"Hah!" Cartman quickly covered up his embarrassment at his stunt. "I did it on purpose to get out of running."

"Uh-huh," Stan rolled his eyes. "Need anything?"

Cartman chuckled and took the rag off his head. "Water."

Stan nodded and retrieved a glass of water for his out-of-shape boyfriend, and Cartman swallowed it all quickly and greedily.

"Ahh," he tossed the plastic cup aside and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "That hit the spot. Thanks, cutie."

"No problem, Eric," Stan smiled as he replied as he picked up the thrown cup and placed it in the garbage can. "By the way, since when do you pace yourself in P.E. like that? I thought you hated it."

Cartman looked at his fiddling hands in his lap. He sighed, not about to lie to Stan's face. "Well, you're so athletic, and I'm... not. I guess I wanted to impress you. Stupid, huh?" He laughed nervously and put the rag back on his forehead, but let some of it slide down to cover his face. "Is it hot in here or what?"

Cartman felt his hand behind gingerly tugged away from the cloth, letting it fall, and was pierced by Stan's blue eyes, that were filled with sympathy.

"Cartman, you don't need to do that," Stan said, taking the larger male's hand in his own and rubbing it soothingly with his thumb. "I like you the way you are."

Cartman smiled at that, but didn't look Stan in the eyes.

"Really. I don't know what you see in me to feel the need to do that. I'm far fromー"

Cartman put a large finger to Stan's mouth.

"Don't start that shit," Cartman mumbled.

Stan's eyelids dropped a little. "Kay."

* * *

Cartman returned to the locker room, gym class had just ended by the time he felt good enough to excuse himself from the nurse's office. He managed to get both feet on the floorー after resisting the wave of nausea that hit him. There was a clique in the center of the locker room that Stan returned to and caught up with Kyle, who was standing there talking to some of the other boys as they changed into their normal clothes.

Cartman avoided large groupsーhe still had an animosity towards people in generalー even if it was something he needed to change about himself to keep a stable relationship with Stan and Kyle. He'd ease into it eventually. For now, he preferred to be alone, especially when it came to revealing himself.

He pulled his gray v-neck over his headーnormally he'd have gone to the bathroom stalls to change, so nobody would see his body, but he figured they were all distracted enough to not care.

Cartman couldn't help but peer over to the tall mirror on the wall next to him. He had a nasty bruise on his forehead, but it would go away soon enough. His eyes traveled down to his bust, which was pooling down as if his skin were trying to run away from his bones. He sighed heavily as a new wave of insecurity swept over him again as he stared at his overweight reflection. He wondered if it was because he was slouching, and tried changing positions.

On the other side of the room where the larger group was chatting, a particular redhead couldn't help but notice the actions being performed by Eric Cartman. His emerald green eyes curiously watched Eric make poses in front of the mirror. He wondered if maybe he was checking himself outー which wouldn't have surprised him back in elementary schoolーbut something was different. Kyle could sense a look of disapproval and sadness in Cartman's eyes as he gazed upon himself.

The ginger tilted his head, continuing to watch the other male. The site kind of made his heart sting. It was hard to watch Cartman have feelings like that. Guess he was going to have to come up with a new way to address him.

After all, Cartman wasn't the only one who knew they needed an attitude change.

Kyle withdrew himself from the conversation and made his way over to Cartman, lightly tapping his shoulder from behind. "Hey, Cartman."

Cartman was startled, knowing he'd be caught in the act and quickly spun around, backing into the metal lockers.

Kyle was surprised by his reaction and shrugged. "Sorry," he said amusingly, "didn't know I was that scary."

"I wasn't scared," Cartman snorted, quickly throwing his normal white T-shirt on. "But I guess I should have been. Jews can be intimidating."

Kyle ignored that. "How's your head?"

"Full of shit, as usual," Cartman joked, avoiding all profound conversation. There was no way Kyle didn't know why he was doing what he was doing, he was too smart. But he wasn't gonna talk about it.

"I meant on the outside," Kyle replied, gesturing to the dark purple spot.

"What this? This here's a battle scar. Pretty cool, huh?"

Kyle stared at Cartman for a moment before sighing, giving up. "Yeah. Great. Well, see ya." He turned and continued his conversation with the group.

Cartman huffed a sigh of relief.

 _Dodged another Jew bullet,_ he thought to himself. But he knew he disappointed Kyle on the rare occasion he attempted to have a conversation, and Cartman would bail. There were just some things the larger male didn't want to talk to the Jew about.

A lot of things.

Most things.

Not because he hated Kyle.

But because he was starting to hate himself.

* * *

As Cartman was walking home, his thoughts were poisoned. He had gazed over at the redhead at some point where he had no shirt on, and opened his mouth at what he saw. Kyle was very petite, having no hair on him, and he was so skinny and smallーnot in an unhealthy way like Stan. But Kyle was very balanced, and Cartman realized he had been staring at him for a good five minutes until the attractive frame was hidden underneath an orange jacket.

Cartman walked through the snow to his home, his breath coming out in visible, angry huffs.

 _So he's got a nice body, too,_ Cartman thought, annoyed. _And he has money. He's healthy, well balanced. He must have low metabolism, too. Just wonderful._

He returned home finally and, as usual, immediately retreated to his bed. He'd have to wrap up his forehead later, but he was too tired to do it now. A short nap sounded more appealing in that moment.

When he woke up a little bit later, he yawned and rubbed his eye with a large, balled up fist.

He had a weird instinct to check his phone for messages. He had two, one from Stan, that read _"I love you,"_ which made Cartman's heart flutter. The feeling was soon replaced confusion when he read his second message, from Kyle.

 _"Meet me at 6445 Source Center Point, at 6:00."_

* * *

 **aha that address is actually where i work**

 **don't come kill me please**

 **aya so i was gonna say this before but i forgot, i was gonna name this story "true love," after the song by p!nk, the song that describes kyman perfectly, but it seemed to cheesey for people that didn't understand it was a reference to a song so i just used one of my fav bon jovi songs lel**

 **boneheart- thanks! this account is kind of new-ish and I think a lot of my stories are gonna be coming from cartman's POV, so I hope you like them!**

 **symphknot- I'm glad you enjoyed, I hope you continue to do so:)**

 **thanks for taking a moment to review. really, it makes me wanna continue more. i see you guys viewin it. c'mon, tsk tsk!**

 **tbc!**

 **-bean**


	3. Chapter 3

Cartman paced the floor. He spent a little while trying to come up with a response to this outlandish text he had received from the Jew.

 _Why?_

That was really the only thing he wanted to know, was why.

Just to talk? No way he was doing that.

Maybe on a date with Stan? But he didn't say "meet us..."

Just to hang out?

Cartman stilled. That wasn't possible, was it? The last time he hung out with the Jew just for shits and giggles was when Stan had been diagnosed with Aspergers, and Kyle couldn't stand to be around him for awhile. Cartman shivered at the memory.

Unable to read the other's intentions through those few simple words, Cartman shot him a quick reply.

 _"What for?"_

He waited for what seemed like an entire hour. He scoffed when he looked at the screen and saw the " _R_ " symbol. So the Jew saw his message, but wasn't replying, that ass.

 _Well, I've got nothing better to do, anyway,_ Cartman thought before he grunted loudly and began to make himself more presentable. If he really was meeting Kyle alone somewhere, he wasn't about to show up looking like he'd just crawled out of the garbage. Assuming the Jew had high standards, he put on some nice clothes, almost subconsciouslyー some tan khakis that complimented his hair, a white T-shirt and a gray jumper that fit him nicely.

He tended to his hair, applying some cream to make it look shinier and combed it nicely, departing his usual shaggy look the three of them shared. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he frowned, not used to looking this way.

What the hell was he doing?

* * *

The sun was setting and the temperature was nice for a change, Cartman thought as he went outside. He followed Siri on foot to the location the Jew had sent to him. It wasn't too far from their neighborhoodー maybe a mile or two. Although it still killed him, nearly out of breath by the time he stopped. When he arrived, he looked up to find Kyle leaning against the brick wall, a hookah pen in hand, other hand in his pocket.

What the hell? Cartman thought. He immediately went to Kyle's attire which consisted of an orange unisex tank and some camouflage pants with brown furry boots. At first, the larger male was concerned at the lower form of dress his somewhat-friend had shown up in, but Cartman couldn't help but notice the way the outfit matched the Jew's hair and eyes. Not to mention the orange sunset permeating the sky around them.

Cartman shook his head. It was one thing to compare himself to Kyle, as he'd been doing lately, but getting googly eyes at him in public was something else. He finally made his way over to the small, red-haired male.

"Hey," he greeted casually, making sure to stand upright, and keep his time normal and laid back.

Kyle's eyes fell onto the other male, and Cartman immediately his heart skipped a beat. What the hell? Was he nervous?

Well, it wouldn't come as a shock anymore. After all, this was an entirely new chapter in his life. More like a rewrite, at that.

Kyle blinked as he withdrew the pen from his mouth and lightly blew out the smoke. "Cartman?" He sounded surprised. Which didn't surprise Cartman.

"What?" Cartman crossed his arms, keeping his cool. "You think you're the only one who can clean up around here?"

"Clean up...?" Kyle questioned, but let it go, taking his back off the wall and putting the pen away. "I didn't tell you to dress nice."

"You didn't really tell me _anything_ ," Cartman snorted and put his hands in his pockets. "Why the hell didn't you reply to my text?"

Kyle shrugged. "What's the fun in that?" He smiled slyly and slightly messed with Cartman's wrinkled jumper. "You look kind of nice though, faー Cartman."

Said male quirked a brow, but allowed Kyle to fix his shirt. "What the hell you doing with vape pen, anyway? You look like Kenny."

"Actually, he's the one that kept telling me to smoke, so I only did it to shut him up. It doesn't have nicotine, though. And turns out it's pretty relaxing. So I kept doing it. You should try it. You seem kind of stressed lately."

"I'm not putting my mouth on your little stick there, that's an indirect kiss, you disgusting Jew," Cartman made a face, taking one hand out of his pocket.

"I meant buy your own, fataー _Cartman_ ," Kyle said, getting slightly annoyed, but he took a deep breath. "Anyway, I brought you here just to grab a bite to eat."

"Eat?" Cartman perked up. Eating was always nice. "But, I didn't bring any money."

"Don't worry about it," Kyle slightly rolled his eyes and gestured at the building. Cartman squinted. "Pita Pit?"

"Yeah. It's kinda like Subway, but it tastes way better. It's a little expensive though, but that's cause the food is high quality."

"Nice of you to take me on a romantic dinner date," Cartman joked, making Kyle roll his eyes again, "but why here? Why so sudden?"

"It's the best place I could think of that has great food, but it's also really healthy," Kyle walked up beside him, gazing upon the building with Cartman, a smile plastered on his face.

"You insulting me?" Cartman quirked his eyebrows and looked down at the smaller male.

Kyle sighed and turned to look into those mean, brown eyes. "Look, Cartman, I know exactly what you're going through."

"What are you talking about?" Cartman was taken aback, putting his fists by his aides defensively. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Yeah, right," Kyle scoffed and put a hand in his pocket. "I don't want to know your definition of fine."

"Screw this, I'm going home," Cartman turned to storm off but felt a small hand wrap around his bicep.

"Stop." Kyle's voice was firm.

Cartman's eyes were as wide as dinner plates as he suddenly felt way vulnerable. Fucking Kyle, putting his hand on him. And telling him what to do.

...it was sexier than it should of been.

Kyle noted Cartman's lack of movement and turned him around to face him.

"Listen, Cartman, I only want to help you."

Cartman was still slightly in shock by the actions of the redhead, and the fact that he was getting off on it.

At this point in time, he couldn't deny he was having some serious fucking problems.

"Why?" Cartman asked. "To make Stan happy?"

"Well, there's that too," Kyle averted his eyes, but then pierced the other when direct contact. "But it's also for you. Honestly I don't like seeing you this way."

"What way?"

"Upset."

" _You_ don't like seeing _me_ upset?" Cartman blinked.

"Well, not anymore," Kyle smiled at him genuinely. "So let's go inside and eat. It's on me."

* * *

Cartman's mouth watered as he looked at the menu. Eventually he settled for a Dagwood clubー ham, turkey, and prime rib all in one... this place seemed like heaven. And it was _healthy_ too?

They had breakfast all day and there were even vegetarian options, like falafel, spicy black bean, hummus, and gardens. Even his hippie Stan could enjoy the food here. Cartman smiled at the thought. Why hadn't they eaten here before?

Kyle settled for a normal chicken and when the food was made, they say down to eat. Cartman dug in, devouring it quickly, and Kyle took small bites, occasionally scanning Cartman's face, trying to read his emotions. He seemed happy, which made Kyle content.

Cartman was finished before Kyle could even blink. He leaned back in his chair with a satisfying, loud sigh.

"That was great," Cartman admitted, wrapping up his trash and tossing it in the bin.

"Mm," came Kyle's half-assed response as he took the last bite and swallowed. "Glad you think so."

Cartman looked down, his thoughts starting to fog his mind again. He was having similar emotions he felt when Stan had accepted him into his care after he had ran away. He was grateful, but once again didn't know how to express it.

He was just gonna have to force it out.

"Hey, thanks foー" he started, but was cut off.

"Let's go for a walk," Kyle said nonchalantly as he stood up and threw the rest of his garbage away.

"What?"

Kyle turned to him. "Well we gotta burn the calories we just consumed," he said simply.

"I thought the point of eating healthy was avoiding that shit," Cartman complained, not liking the idea of doing more walking.

"It's low calories, but you can't avoid it altogetherー unless you eat like Stan I guess, but I know neither of us want to do that. So c'mon, let's go."

Cartman sat still as he thought. Going on a walk alone with the Jew did not sound like fun. It made him perfectly vulnerable for conversation. On the other hand, he could chew his way out of it like he always did. After all, things might have been slightly different between them now, but that didn't mean Cartman had to assimilate dramatically to the situation.

But, he was doing this for Stan, too.

Damn it.

* * *

The two walked slowly side by side down a nice nearby hiking trail. Cartman fiddled with his fingers inside his pockets, it was very quiet. He wasn't sure whether he preferred the redhead to talk him to death or say nothing at all. What exactly was going trough Kyle's head?

"See, this isn't so bad, is it?" Kyle finally broke the silence, stretching his arms as they walked.

"Guess not," Cartman mumbled. As long as they took it slow, he could manage. But he could definitely feel the muscle in his stomach cringing in horror as he moved his body. "Think we could stop for a minute though?"

Kyle shrugged. "I guess."

"Kewl." Cartman huffed and found a big rock to sit on, come to find a small lake off the side of the trail they were walking on. Kyle sat next to him.

The forest sounds seemed louder as they sat in silence. Kyle figured it was a good time to get some water vapor in his lungs again and the small glow of the pen lit up, complimenting the moonlight.

"Hey, Kyle."

"Yeah?" Kyle asked, a puff of thick white smoke following his breath.

"Uh... thanks for this."

Kyle simpered. "No problem, faー Cartman."

"Why do you keep doing that?" Cartman made a suspicious face and focused his gaze on Kyle.

"Doing what?"

"You haven't insulted me once, you're about to but then you yank it back."

Kyle shot him an unamused look.

That was all Cartman needed for an answer and trailed off his thoughts. His fingers lightly scratched at the rock they sat on. "But, you don't know how I feel."

Kyle looked at him. "What?"

"Earlier. You said you knew what I was going through. But you don't," Cartman couldn't help but say, the words had been slightly bugging him through the night.

"What do you mean?"

Cartman scoffed and got up, picking up a rock. "You don't know what it's like to be insecure." He skipped the stone on the water, slightly distracting himself as to not go into a spiraling depression with the Jew around.

Kyle's mouth hung open. "Cartman, I meant I know what you've been thinking lately. That you can't hide it from me. I saw it when you were looking in the mirror in the locker room."

"So, you know everything, and you're always right, it just never ends for you, does it?" Cartman mumbled. He really didn't want to pick a fight after everything Kyle was trying to do for him, but it was as if being around Kyle contaminated him and made him want to talk. Like the Jew's cathartic ways were contagious.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kyle stood up, tossing his vape aside to be forgotten.

Cartman sighed, calming down. "I guess I just don't understand why you're wasting your time on me. Everything in your world is perfect. Why are you tainting yourself with my problems?"

Kyle's eyes softened, all traces of anger gone. "Cartman..."

Said male huffed and skipped another stone. All those words had just slipped out without him even thinking! He couldn't believe he was saying all this to the Jew.

He once again felt the unmistakable gentle touch of Kyle's hand on him, on his shoulder this time.

"First of all, I'm not perfect. Okay? Second of all, it's not a burden for me to help you."

Cartman sighed, but didn't shrug him off. "But the fact you think I need _your_ help. Doesn't that mean you think you're better than me?"

Kyle looked down. "That's harsh."

Cartman looked at him angrily. "Doesn't it?"

Kyle's eyes looked sad. "No."

"Always trying to show me up in front of Stan," Cartman continued accusing him.

"That's not true... Cartman, you know you need help. I'm willing to give it to you. It's not fair of you to get mad at me for it."

"Yeah, take advice about anger from you," Cartman rolled his eyes and moved away from Kyle, closer to the water.

Kyle sighed. "See? I'm not perfect. I know I have a temper, and Iー"

"You mean you _used_ to have a temper. But you got it under control pretty quick, even with me still being a dick. Listen to me!" Cartman was shouting now.

"Cartman," Kyle clenched his fists anxiously, eyes down on the ground.

"What?"

"I... I'm ill-prone."

The dirty blonde squinted his eyes. Where was Kyle going with this?

"I've had a hemorrhoid. I have type 1 diabetes. Ive had CTS, and a lot of other things," Kyle continued.

Cartman rolled his eyes. He understood what Kyle was trying to do now. "You can't help that stuff. Everyone gets sick. Youー"

"I bullied my little brother."

Cartman remained silent. Interested, he said nothing, allowing Kyle to continue.

"I've stolen from a lab. I've taken LSD. I've framed people. Terrorized people."

Cartman sighed quietly. "My criminal record is way worse, you know thatー"

Kyle cut him off, his eyes watering. "I betrayed Stan."

That one was the big bite on the bait.

Cartman turned to face the Jew, noticing the way he was slightly trembling.

"I betrayed Stan," he said again, his composure slowly escaping him.

"When?" Cartman blinked in astonishment.

". . .when he was diagnosed with Aspergers. . . I wasn't there for him. He needed me. And I wasn't there."

This was hard for Cartman to listen to. Bringing Stan into the conversation automatically made him much more involved. "Look, Kyle, that's not reallyー"

"He came to me," Kyle said, his knees getting week, so he sat criss-cross on the ground, hugging his own arms. "He was drunk. I knew what was wrong with him. I knew what he was doing. But I didn't care. He told me he needed help. I ignored him."

Cartman didn't know what to say.

"God, did you know he still drinks?" Tears were rolling down his cheeks now, he wasn't even bothering to hold them back. "I mean, he doesn't c-cut anymore, but he drinks his dad's liquor. The bastard doesn't even notice because he's too drunk to see his son doing that to himself. He gets sick. I don't know what to do. I can't help him. I didn't help him."

Cartman had a sick feeling in his stomach. He did recall Stan turning to alcohol during that time to deal with his condition but he figured it had passed by now. Guess he and Kyle were even on secrets about their boyfriend.

"It's my fault, Cartman. I never made up for it. I never forgave myself for that." Kyle put his face in his hands, openly crying now. "I know his family made him that way, but, I feel like if I had just done something, he'd be past it. But he isn't. And I don't think he ever will be, because of me."

Kyle ran out of words as he began to sob into his small hands.

The other male's heart pounded achingly in his chest. How did he keep finding himself in these situations lately? He remembered back to the time Stan cried in front of him and he didn't know what to do about it. Swallowing, he walked over to Kyle and knelt down in front of him, placing his large hands on the redhead's small shoulders, giving them a light, comforting squeeze.

"Kyle, look, I'm sure Stan doesn't even remember that stuff," Cartman said nervously, trying to calm the other down. But damn, he wasn't good at this drama.

"How could he not remember?" Kyle replied, shooting down Cartman's lame theory. "That was one of the biggest moments in our lives. You know that."

Cartman bit his lip. Fuck, why couldn't the Jew just take his word for it and calm the fuck down like Stan did?

But he was far from angry. Kyle told him he didn't like seeing him upset. Cartman understood now what he had meant.

He sat down next to Kyle and did all he could think to do, run his hand on Kyle's back comfortingly. "Listen, I mean... that was a really long time ago."

Kyle sighed, wiping his eyes and not saying anything in response. Cartman took that as a sign to continue.

"I mean, if we all spent our time thinking about that shit from elementary school, none of us would be here, together... Stan sure has seemed to forgotten about all those bad things, he's happier than he's ever been now, you said so yourself." That sounded a lot better in his head.

Kyle's watery eyes slightly peeked up at him. Okay, good.

"Because now is what matters. Not all that shit from the past. I mean hell, if Stan can love meーdespite my pastー I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"But... it's not really about Stan being upset with me. I know that he isn't. I'm upset with myself, though." Kyle took a deep breath, and slightly leaned into Cartman's hand, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Well... you need to forgive yourself," it was the only thing the dirty blonde could think to say.

"Why?"

Cartman bit his lip. He wasn't sure about that one.

He wasn't sure if he's even forgiven himself for everything he's done.

"You just do," Cartman said, not making eye contact, simply stating at the moonlit water in front of them.

"Thanks, that makes me feel better," the redhead rolled his eyes, but the lightheartedness was in his tone.

"Hey, I told you I'm not good at this shit. But you keep setting me up."

Kyle smiled a little. "Whatever."

Cartman quirked his lip. He had expected that response, except he had expected to hear, "whatever, fatass." It kind of felt weird not to hear it.

But if Kyle chose to stop insulting him, he could do the same. He'd have to come up with a new nickname for Kyle. He thought for a second.

"Yeah, whatever, Strawberry."

Kyle twitched his nose, taken aback by Cartman's statement. " _Strawberry?_ "

"Yeah. You know. Cause of your hair." Cartman said awkwardly, and rubbed Kyle's hair affectionately to take the attention off his verbal expression.

Kyle couldn't help the small blush that formed on his cheeks. He smiled. "You're an idiot."

Cartman smirked. "Strawberry _Shortcake._ "

"Let's just keep it at the prefix."

"Gotcha," Cartman chuckled, and looked off at the lake. They sat in peaceful silence for awhile.

* * *

 **that was long as fuck, pause, that was over 3200 words without the AN daamn sorry**

 **/started writing and got too carried away and made them bond way too early in the story**

 **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

 **symphknot- thanks for the kind words, you keep the story going :]**

 **just to let you guys know I made one of those cosplay ask blogs on tumblr for kyle, it's called _smol - -strawberry_ (without the spaces obvi)**

 **or you could just follow me on google + if you have one of those, the name is Bean Skywalker /coughs**

 **well TBC, please review ;u; *beg like a whore***

 **-bean**


	4. Chapter 4

**here a slightly shorter chapter with Style, since I been neglecting a solid scene for them**

 **enjoy ~**

* * *

It was getting late. The sun was long gone, along with the nice weather, resulting in a violently shivering Jew on their walk back to the neighborhood.

"What were you thinking, wearing a tank-top in April?" Cartman snickered when he noticed the other struggling to keep himself warm.

"It was nice earlier," Kyle mumbled, but turned his head away. The truth was he'd been best received in the shirt he was wearing, and part of him wanted to show himself off to Cartman, as strange as it was to him.

"Well, it's not now," Cartman replied simply, putting his hands in his pockets. Then it occurred to him that he had his jumper, and he wasn't being affected by the cold weather. There didn't seem to be any other choice but toー

"Here. Take this," Cartman shrugged off his jacket and offered it to the redhead.

Kyle stared dumbly at him. "Won't you get cold?"

"Naw," the dirty blonde replied. "Just take it."

Kyle hesitated, as if he were trying to discern whether or not Cartman was telling the truth, but he wasn't about to reject his chivalry, either.

"Thanks," Kyle had a small smile painted on his face as he took the jumper and put it on. It was much too large for him, as to be expected. Cartman snickered at the way it drooped off of his small frame.

The redhead wrapped himself up, feeling a little warmer on more ways than one on the way home.

Emerald green eyes stared down at the dirt in thought. Kyle had done way too much talking before, and now his mind was clogged. He felt that sick, anxious feeling he felt whenever he thought about that time back in elementary school. Even if Stan didn't have the exact illness, it was the best description, and it was something. Something huge, if he still hadn't gotten past it yet.

Kyle squeezed his crossed arms nervously. He really needed to see Stan.

* * *

After walking Cartman home and thanking him for the pleasant night, Kyle did not go back to his own house like he originally planned. Instead he waddled over to the Marsh residence, shooting his mom a quick text to let her know there had been a change of plan. It was Friday night, after all. Why go home?

Knocking on the door, Kyle was surprised to find Randy being the one to answer it.

"Hello Mr. Marsh," Kyle greeted him politely, but it slightly hissed off his tongue, as he knew this man played a big role in Stan's long-term depression.

Randy took a swig of beer before answering. "You here for Stan?"

The redhead nodded.

"Ah come on in then," Randy gestured him in, and Kyle stepped next to him before closing the door behind him. He peeled off his boots with his feet.

"Stan!" Randy called up the stairs. "Your little friend is here."

"It's okay, Mr. Marsh. I'll go up there." Kyle said as he trotted up the stairs. He knew Stan well enough to know he liked to be in his room and it took a lot to get him out.

Kyle gently knocked on the door with the back of his knuckle, but didn't bother waiting for a response before he opened the door to find Stan sitting at his desk doing homework.

"Hey, Stan." Kyle smiled bright, his voice cheery.

Stan turned in his chair, surprised to find one of his boyfriends there. "Hey Kyle," he smiled back, getting up out of his chair and stretching, walking over to be closer to the redhead.

"You look sexy," Kyle pointed out, a bit slyly, noticing Stan in his black and red checkered boxers and dark blue hoodie, along with his old red and blue winter hat.

Stan blushed a bit. "I wasn't expecting you to come over. Isn't that Cartman's?" He asked, pointing at the jumper.

"Oh, I guess I forgot to give it back to him." Kyle realized, putting a hand on his forehead. "Sorry for barging in."

"You never barge," Stan explained, putting his hands on his boyfriend's forearms and rubbing them soothingly with his thumbs. Kyle blushed like a cherry at the simplest touch, and always wanted to melt into a puddle. It didn't really take much.

"So you two hung out?" Stan raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

Kyle nodded. "Yeah. I just brought him to a healthy restaurant. He loved it, actually. Good thing, too, cause I think he wants to start eating healthier."

Stan smiled. "That is good."

"Yep, now if we could just get you to eat, period, we can mark that off the checklist," Kyle giggled, but was genuinely concerned at the sight of Stan's frighteningly skinny legs.

Stan made a face. "I'm working on it."

"Whatever you say," Kyle replied, stretching a bit as he walked over to the bed. "What else are you working on?" He asked, referring to the homework.

"Rhetoric stuff, but, it can wait." Stan hugged Kyle from behind, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. Kyle blushed again and hummed lightly, leaning back against the slightly taller male. He was relieved he didn't smell alcohol on Stan's breath like he sometimes did when they got this close. Those thoughts made him remember why he came here.

"Stan. . ."

"What's up, Kyle?" Stan blinked, resting his chin on the redhead's shoulder. He didn't like the curious tone of voice he had.

"I love you." Kyle replied, turning his head to meet the icy blue eyes of his lover. "You know that don't you?"

Stan smiled and slightly rolled his eyes. "Of course I know that. You tell me every day."

"Well, it's so you don't forget," Kyle became defensive and turned around in Stan's grip, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against the black haired male's.

"I love you, no matter what."

Stan refrained from questioning the source of this angsty behavior and put a hand through Kyle's messy red hair. "I love you too."

Feeling exhausted, and content, the two of them fell asleep, cuddled together on Stan's bed.

* * *

The next morning, they both slept in rather late. It was ten or so before Stan's eyes blinked open and he registered he was waking up. Yawning, he slightly shifted in his bed to find he was unconsciously spooning Kyle. He smiled and cuddled closer. With the redhead, he was the big spoon. With Cartman, he was the little spoon. He wondered how nice it would feel to have them both there at the same time. But he didn't really want to ask them to do that, either. He knew it might be weird for them.

Although it truly pleased him to know they were getting along so well now. Even if, at first, they were only doing it so he wouldn't have to worry, it was working. So Stan wasn't about to interfere and make things go haywire.

The soft ringing of his cell phone could be heard on his nightstand, waking Kyle. When Stan noticed green eyes looking at him tiredly, he smiled mouthed a "sorry" before answering.

"Hello?"

 _"Hey, cutie."_

"Hey Cartman."

Kyle sat up, yawning big and rubbing one of his eyes tiredly.

Stan sat up as well, stretching and putting his back against the headboard, one of his arms still draped around the redhead. "So, what's up?"

 _"I was thinking...,"_ Cartman trailed off, as if he were still thinking about what he was going to suggest, _"that maybe... you, me and Kyle could go do something together today."_

Stan blinked curiously. "Like what?"

 _"I dunno,"_ the larger make grunted, _"jus' somethin'."_

"Well," Stan smiled, "Kyle's right here, so we can ask him."

 _"Oh, sweet."_

Stan proceeded to put his phone on speaker and Cartman took his opportunity.

 _"Hey Strawberry,"_ he said, and the two could hear the smirk in his voice.

Kyle blushed slightly and pouted his lip, but responded. "Hey... Eric," he replied, unable to think of something clever. He knew he'd have to come up with something else to address Cartman as. If Cartman could put forth effort to affectionately nickname them, he could do the same. He had plenty of nickname for him back in elementary schoolー fatass, R-Tard, and plenty of other generically insulting words. He felt his heart slightly twist in his chest. Lately, every time he thought about elementary school, he felt sick to his stomach. "What's up?" He finally asked, his voice soft like a mouse, trying to part himself from his thoughts.

 _"Let's all go do something cool today,"_ Cartman repeated. _"I got some money, so like, you don't have to pay for me... this time."_

Kyle smiled a bit. "What did you have in mind? I'd feel kind of bad not inviting Kenny, too...," he said, thinking of their other friend they'd been neglecting lately.

 _"Ahh, don't worry about him,"_ the large male could be heard sipping from a soda can before continuing. _"I already talked to him. He's got... plans of his own,"_ Cartman thought about the way Kenny told him to buzz off, as he was busy having an orgy of some kind. And Cartman had been avoiding talking to him because he knew Kenny would rub it in about being right that polygamy was the way to go.

Stan tried to think. There honestly wasn't much to do in their town, there weren't any good movies playing and he figured Cartman wouldn't enjoy any sporty activities. He would suggest grabbing some breakfast at Village Inn but he didn't want to ruin Kyle's weight-loss coaching he was apparently getting into. "What about... mini-golfing?" He said aloud, he knew the suggestion was slightly ludicrous but it was the best thing he could think of.

Cartman scoffed at the idea at first, but then gave it a bit of thought. It was cheap, easy, didn't take too much physical work and entertaining. _"Yeah, that sounds good, actually."_

"I'm okay with that," Kyle agreed and smiled at the black haired boy.

 _"Kewl. What time?"_

"Give us an hour," Stan replied, his eyes peering over at the clock.

 _"Kay. See ya there,"_ Cartman said and hung up the phone.

"I didn't even pack anything," Kyle realized as he swung his feet over the edge of the bed.

"You can wear some of my clothes," Stan smiled at him. He knew Kyle liked wearing his clothes and was happy to accommodate. The redhead smiled brightly back.

"Thanks!"

"Need to shower first, though," Stan pointed out, yawning once more as he opened the door to his bedroom.

Kyle slyly came up behind him, wrapping his slim arms around Stan's middle. " _We could shower together,_ " he suggested, quietly in his ear before nipping at it.

Stan's face went red but he wasn't about to say no. He peered around the house to make sure no one was home before pulling Kyle into the bathroom to get clean together.

* * *

 **don't hurt me**

 **and yes it's cold in april in colorado, I would know bc I live here**

 **symphnot- thanks for continuing to support me, hope you don't mind me squeezing out a little style before I continue the story ^^**

 **Jinxprints- thanks dear :) I'll definitely do my best!**

 **tbc**

 **-bean**


	5. Chapter 5

**sorry for the delayed post but ya'll don't want my damn excuses you just want the chapter so here**

 **btw though I was in fairplay over the weekend and I took some video it's on my tumblr (delusional-trash) if you wanna check it out, k**

 **anyhoo enjoy**

* * *

"Bogey!" Kyle laughed as Cartman finally got his ball in the hole.

"...you're a boogey!" Cartman shouted back as he patted his club into the ground.

Kyle rolled his eyes, "it means you're one over par, Cartman."

"Well we can't all be born with golden love mitts like Stan," Cartman gestured to their boyfriend who shrugged innocently. Stan had been getting a hole-in-one in almost every course, and never went over par.

"Where'd you pick up the skills, Stan?" Kyle asked as he swung his club around a little, walking to the next hole.

"I'm not sure," the raven-haired boy replied.

"Maybe you're just good at everything," Kyle giggled and poked at Stan with the end of his club.

"We all know that's not true," Stan rolled his eyes with a smile.

"Oh? Name one thing you're terrible at."

"Driving boats," Cartman answered the question first and then burst into a fit of laughter. Stan slightly groaned at the memory.

"That wasn't entirely my fault," he argued, looking slyly at the largest male.

"Dude, you wrecked everything!" He continued laughing, playfully swinging his arm around Stan.

"Oh shut up," the hippie lightly clunked his club atop Cartman's head. "It was a different model than the one I could drive. And you're the one that lied to me."

Kyle jumped in the conversation. "You never got around to telling me that story in full," he smiled curiously. "All I know is that nobody in school would buy that you guys were playing tea party at Cartman's house."

"Maybe not back then, but now it doesn't sound like a bad idea does it?" Cartman waggled his eyebrow at his boyfriend who simply grumbled in response.

Kyle wrapped himself around Stan's arm on the side that Cartman wasn't on, so Stan was being affectionately squished between them. Normally they'd keep their PDA to a minimum but there weren't many people at the golf course that day.

Stan felt tranquil between them and allowed his boyfriends to guide him to the next hole. He closed his eyes as they walked with a content sigh, feeling as though he could fall asleep like this, despite the fact they were out and about.

"I can see it," Kyle said amusingly, his green eyes peering up at Cartman. "Stan sipping from a little heart shaped cup."

Cartman snickered. "Mozart playing in the background."

Kyle smiled. "Wearing a little white dress."

"A bow in his hair to match."

Stan blushed and scrunched up his face, his eyes still closed. One of the ways the redhead liked to tease him was to talk about him in that manner as if he weren't there. Apparently at some point he had passed that practice onto Cartman now.

"Hey guys?"

"Yeah Stan?" They both asked simultaneously.

He opened his blue eyes and smiled. "I kinda need my arms to play."

* * *

"Check it out, I scored higher than _both_ of you!" Cartman laughed as he swung his score sheet around in the air. "And you said I was doing terrible!"

Kyle and Stan couldn't help but giggle in response.

"What's so funny?" Cartman twitched his nose. "I'm seriously."

"In golf, you want to get the lowest score," Kyle explained. "High scores aren't good."

"Ah," Cartman replied, raising a finger, "but what you didn't suspect is that I totally let you guys win."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Well Stan smoked both of us. We should've placed some kind of bet before we played."

"We could do another round," Stan smiled at the idea.

Kyle nodded. "What's the bet?"

"Ooh ooh, if I win, Kyle has to cook me dinner for a week," Cartman instantly blurt out.

"Didn't take you long to come up with that," Kyle quirked a brow. Cartman just snickered. He had indeed had the idea in his head prior to their situation now. They often are dinner together and Kyle normally cooked. Stan could make some things but the redhead was gourmetー which Cartman carefully added to the list of things the Jew was beating him in, but he exploited it while he could.

"Sweet," Cartman slurred. "And _you_?" He gestured to Kyle curiously.

"If I win...," Kyle paused in thought, "you have to let me give you math tutor sessions for a month."

Cartman shivered.

"And what about you, Stan?" Kyle asked their boyfriend, who was leaning on his golf club.

Stan thought for a moment. He wondered if this was his chance to be more intimate with the two of them at once, but still thought it to be slightly demanding, being the humble person he was. Thinking it over, he ignored his epiphany and answered.

"If I win... you both come to my house and sleep in my bed every night on weekends."

Kyle and Cartman's eyes widened in unisonー not out of shock, but they seemed flattered. It wasn't a silly request as far as the two of them were concerned. Maybe it would've been a week ago, but things were blooming for the better between them and they instantly agreed.

"That's a penalty?" Cartman chuckled and ruffles Stan's shaggy black hair.

"And yours' are?" Stan made a face at his larger boyfriend.

"Math sessions with Kyle? You kiddin'? I'd rather die!" Cartman joked, going into a small fit of laughter.

"Me cooking him dinner would be more of a penalty for Cartman, cause you'd have no idea what I might decide to put in your food," Kyle replied slyly, with a small laugh afterwards.

Stan joined in the laughter. "Okay, let's play."

* * *

Stan won, of course.

As the three of them walked back to the Marsh residence, Stan was caught in the middle once again.

"Hopefully nobody walks in and sees us that way," Kyle pointed out, "or we're in for it!"

"I don't think we have to worry about that," Stan shrugged. His normal house routine were his mother, sister and father all being home around dinner time, but then would disappear really late at night or first thing in the morning. And they never bothered Stan during the small amount of time they were at home.

"Is your bed gonna be big enough to fit all three of us?" Cartman asked out loud. He knew he'd slept with Stan before, and he was pretty damn sure Kyle had done it as well, but they'd never all three done it.

"I'm not sure," the black haired boy answered, then smiled slightly. "Guess we'll just have to be real close."

Kyle and Cartman both smiled at that answer and they entered the house. It wasn't sundown yet so they spent some time playing video games until it got late enough to go to bed.

Once again Kyle was keen on wearing Stan's clothes, this time his sleep wear, and headed to the bathroom to change. When he got to the door, he noticed it was cracked with the light on.

Cartman must be in there, Kyle thought, but he didn't want to wait around in case it was Stan. He peeked his green eyes into the room to find his original suspicion was true.

Although something was off.

Cartman had removed his shirt and was staring at himself in the mirror again. He had the same pitiful look on his face as he did back in the locker room.

Kyle's face contorted in agony as he watched from the other side of the door. He thought Cartman had been getting better, but he appeared to be wrong. The larger male certainly was good at hiding his emotions.

Cartman let out a shaky sigh as he slightly turned and looked at himself from different angles. He tried covering parts of himself up to see what would happen.

Kyle could've sworn he heard a small sob at one point, and he couldn't stand it anymore. He pushed the door open.

"Cartman?"

Said male jumped in surprise and turned around, clutching his heart with his hand. "Damn Kyle, don't do that!"

"Sorry...," Kyle said before cautiously approaching the other teen, stopping in front of him.

"Whaddya want?" Cartman asked casually, putting a hand on his hip.

"Don't pretend like I didn't just see that," Kyle huffed and put his fists at his sides. "Don't you dare."

Cartman scoffed before turning back to the mirror. "You're a crazy Jew."

"I'm serious Cartman!" Kyle said angrily and stomped his foot. When Cartman remained still, he grit his teeth in annoyance.

"You look at me when I'm talking to you!" The fiery redhead demanded, gripping Cartman by his shoulders and forcefully turning him around.

Shock emitted in waves from the big brown eyes now staring down at the determined green ones. "What the hell is your problem, Kyle?"

" _You're_ the problem!" He snapped back. "You need to quit lying to my face! By denying what you're going through, you're insulting me!"

"This isn't about you," Cartman said, getting slightly upset now. "Not everything is about you, Kyle."

"I'm trying to help you, Cartman!" Kyle pleaded with the other. "Even though I don't even think you need it!" The way Kyle quickly gasped and covered his mouth didn't go unnoticed by the larger male.

"What?"

Kyle stammered for words, fiddling his fingers anxiously before giving up with a sigh. "I...," he trailed off quietly, eyes dully paned on the floor.

Cartman was speechless. Kyle liked him? The way he was? "What the hell do you mean?" He frowned in confusion.

Kyle had a blush on his cheeks as his eyes remained on the floor. He fought to keep his eyes open as they wanted to weld shut in embarrassment. "Nothing."

Cartman's whole face was contorted in confusion.

That was when a certain black haired hippie walked in.

* * *

Stan was sitting on his bed, changing into sleep wear himself. His heart was pounding in joy that he was going to have both of his boyfriends sleep over. He would get around to telling them this later, but it meant a lot to him that they were willing to set aside their history and differences in order to make him happy, and they did.

He had gotten into his night pants but didn't get to putting on his shirt until he heard angry voices coming from the bathroom.

 _Oh no...,_ he thought, his eyes burning with wetness. He didn't know if he should go in there and see what was going on or just stay out of it.

All he knew was he couldn't just sit there and listen. It was too painful. He got up and rushed over to the bathroom at the other end of the upstairs hallway, but by the time he had reached the bathroom, the yelling had stopped. Only leaving a seemingly shocked Cartman and a fluttering Kyle.

"You guys... alright?" Stan questioned, blinking his pretty blue eyes in confusion.

"We're fine," Kyle answered quickly before Cartman could say anything. "Let's go to the bed." He said before gripping one of Stan's arms and leading him to the bedroom, leaving behind a still stunned Cartman.

Kyle needed to get out of the room.

When the two reached the bedroom, Kyle took a deep breath. He released his boyfriend's arm and looked up to find said male looking at him questioningly.

"I'm sorry I raised my voice," Kyle said, afraid Stan might be upset. "I just... you know he pushes my buttons."

Kyle was surprised to find the other chuckling at this. "I know," Stan said. "And it means a lot to me that you're trying to get along," he ran his gangly fingers though Kyle's curly red hair to calm him down, knowing him like the back of his hand. Kyle closed his eyes and hummed lightly in content, nodding.

Cartman appeared shortly later, pretending like nothing happened which the redhead was grateful for. They proceeded to climb into Stan's bed, and as the athlete wanted, had him comfortably settled in the middle, being cuddled affectionately by both his boyfriends.

Stan fell asleep after a short while, though the other two remained awake behind their closed eyes.

They just couldn't understand each other yet.

* * *

 **tbccc**

 **sorry i don't have time to respond to reviews right now but i read them all and thank you guys for your kind words and encouragement you keep the story going~**


	6. Chapter 6

Light.

Eyes.

Pain.

The large male groaned as he swatted at the visible dust in the sunlight creeping in through the blinds of the window. His big brown eyes trying to adjust to the light. It took a few rubs and slaps to the cheek to come back to the living. He was surprised when he woke up and found the bed empty.

 _Guess I better get my ass up before I get an earful._ He thought as he hopped up, taking a good long stretch and scratching his lower back before exiting Stan's room.

He walked into the hall and heard the water running from the bathroom. Steam was seeping out the crack on the door. Some of Stan's clothes sat outside the door in a pile, and Cartman tilted his head. Kyle must have gone home already.

Which meant it was a good time to have his boyfriend take care of his morning wood.

Quietly pushing the door open, he intended to surprise Stan by showering with him by simply stepping in. A sly grin was painted on his lips as he pulled back the curtain forcefully.

"Good morning sunshine!ー" he started but his mouth went dry when he did not find his hippie in the shower, but a certain redhead.

Kyle gasped and his fingers that were rubbing his head stilled, he turned his head to find Cartman staring at him very indecently. He went extremely pale with the exception of his cheeks which flushed a furious shade of pink. His green eyes as wide as dinner plates. Cartman held a similar expression.

Unsure of how much time had passed, Cartman finally spoke, glancing up and down Kyle's bare body, " _h-heart_ shaped?!"

Kyle gasped in horror and raised his hand, his expression wild and fierce. "Get... _OUT OF HERE!_ "

Next thing Cartman knew his cheek stung like a bitch and he was tumbling backwards out of the bathroom. The door slammed shut afterwards.

* * *

Still in a trance he waddled down the stairs, panting for breath and clinging to the ledge of the railing by the time he reached the bottom. He heard a voice from the kitchen.

"You alright?"

The dirty blonde looked up to see Stan looking at him from the kitchen. He was making pancakes.

"Just fine," he wheezed in response.

"Well, don't run down the stairs," Stan said flatly as he poured batter into a pan after turning his attention back to the stove.

Normally Cartman would've put on his smug face and said something like, "what's wrong? You worried about me?" Or "I'm athletic gold, I can handle any kind of physical activity."

Though he was a bit uneasy now. Waddling over to the kitchen, still trying to catch his breath, he lazily wrapped his arms around Stan's neck from behind and rested his head on his hippie's shoulder.

"Bad dream or something?" Stan asked, stirring the batter.

"I guess you could say that."

"Well, it's fine now." Stan smiled at him.

 _It's not actually._ "Thank you." _You're so sweet, Stan. But it's really not fine._

"Yep."

Cartman took a deep breath and sat down at the table, his chair making a loud sound as he got situation. He put his face in his hands, forcefully massaging his temples. The worst part was the image wouldn't leave his mind.

It was far from a bad image. But it shouldn't be there. It needs to go away.

And he was just getting on good terms with Kyle, too.

Guess that was out of the question now.

He was snapped from his thoughts when he felt a hand on his back.

"Eric?" Stan's voice said.

The larger male looked up, revealing his eyes.

"You sure you okay?"

"I'll be fine, cutie. Don't worry."

Stan looked unamused. "I'm sorry, have you met me? What the hell happened to your face?"

Cartman smiled, genuinely. "I'll be fine. Promise." He repeated. "I must'a slept on my palm. Left a mark." He moved Stan's hand from his back, holding it in his bigger one and gave it a small kiss. His cheek felt like it would sting for days. And that mark wouldn't probably be there for awhile too. Shit.

But Stan smiled back at this.

"Okay."

Stan was just finishing up when Kyle's light footsteps were heard coming down the stairs, which caused Cartman's heart to stop.

 _Oh crap._

He turned around to see a visibly annoyed Kyle, his hand gripping the stair railing tightly. He had on a dark blue robe that covered nearly all of him except his ankles and feet and a bit of his chest. One of his emerald green eyes twitching in frustration. Cartman slowly turned back to the table with a nervous whistle, starting to cut into his pancakes Stan had served him.

"T-Thanks for the pancakes cutie. They smell great!" He said before he proceeded to dip one in butter and syrup and stuff the entire flat into his mouth. He wouldn't have to talk this way.

"Hey, don't do that, you're gonna choke," Stan tried to pull Cartman's hand with his fork in it away from his mouth. Cartman laughed awkwardly, his full mouth muffling his verbal sounds.

"I t'd y'u m' g'n b' f'n!" He exclaimed, chewing slowly. He let out a belly laugh, syrup slightly coming down his chin. This caused Stan to laugh.

"Geez you're like a five year old," he said, before leaning in and licking the syrup off his chin. Cartman blushed.

"Uh'hh."

"Yeah." An annoyed voice came from behind him, Kyle walking into the kitchen and standing beside Stan, a hand on his hip as he glared at Cartman. "Sometimes."

Cartman ignored that and continued to devour his pancakes. Kyle rolled his eyes and went to Stan, wrapping his arms around the other's waste.

"Morning," he said quietly. Face buried in Stan's chest.

"Morning," he replied, wrapping his free arm that wasn't carting a pan around Kyle's back, returning the hug. "How was your shower?"

Kyle twitched his nose. "Good." Well it _had_ been.

"Good."

Cartman swallowed thickly. He really needed to start waking up earlier.

"Well, sit down and I'll make your plate," Stan smiled as he freed himself and walked back over to the stove. Sighing, Kyle took a seat across from Cartman, who avoided eye contact with him. Kyle huffed and crossed his arms on the table, looking off to the side.

This was going to be a long morning.

* * *

They all sat quietly eating their breakfast, listening to the small TV set on the counter. When they finished, Stan intended to wash the dishes but was overthrown by Kyle who insisted on doing it.

"Guess it's my turn to shower then," Stan said with a stretch and pecked both his boyfriend's cheeks before going upstairs.

Cartman sat at the table, while Kyle washed the dishes at the sink, fiddling with his hands in his lap. Normally he would try to forget something like this and pretend it didn't happen, but things were getting way to weird between them in order for that to work. Sighing, he stood up and came beside the redhead, picking up a dish. "Lemme help you."

Kyle turned his head to look at the other male questionably, then handed him a dish towel. "Okay."

Silence followed. Cartman didn't like it. So he broke it.

"Look, I'm sorry."

Kyle stilled his hand and looked at him once again.

"For, you know... accidentally... intruding on.. you," he tried to form the words together without sounding completely blunt and weird, scrubbing the plate in his hand harder than necessary.

Kyle rolled his eyes, "I don't really care about that Cartman. It's one thing to mistake me for Stan and accidentally see me. What bothers me is your... _attitude_ about it."

"What do you mean?" The larger male raised a brow.

"Don't be stupid. What you said to me when you saw me? That was _completely_ conscious!" He whispered loudly.

"It was... just an offhand comment!" Cartman defended, pulling his hands from the sink to focus on his conversation. "Didn't mean anything by it!"

"Oh please Cartman, if that were true you would've bolted the minute you realized it was me."

"Okay, so it did mean something," the other rubbed the back of his head. "But it was a compliment, you know? I don't understand what you're getting upset about."

Kyle's mouth hung open. "A _compliment?_ "

"Yes!"

Kyle blushed furiously and looked back at the sink. "Doesn't it bother you that you're standing there telling me I have a nice ass?"

Cartman blinked, taken aback by the question. It should've bothered him. But it wasn't bothering him. It didn't bother him when he saw Kyle like that. He couldn't look away. And now he couldn't stop thinking about it. There was definitely something wrong with that.

"I... guess not," he answered, dumbfounded, back facing the counter as he leaned against it, feeling exhausted by his own thoughts.

The redhead was astonished, the sound of running sink water dominating the room for a good minute or so. His wide green eyes pierced Cartman, and even though the other male was looking at the floor, he could feel Kyle's eyes on him. Slowly, the the Jew turned the water off and dried his hands on a towel awkwardly, also turning to lean against the counter. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Okay then..."

"So wait a minute," the dirty blonde turned his head. "You said you didn't care that I just saw you naked? You were just bothered by what I said."

It was Kyle's turn to be taken aback. Is that what he had said? Why would he say that? Unable to think, he grit his teeth. "Y-Yes. Your comment bothered me."

"Like... _hot_ and bothered?" Cartman wore a shit-eating grin as he leaned over, pushing his shoulder against the other's.

Kyle lifted a pan and held it under Cartman's chin. "I will beat you with this."

The larger laughed, "alright, I was just kidding." Sort of. He wasn't sure anymore.

Sighing, Kyle put the pan in the sink and walked over to the couch, sitting down with his hands in his lap. "Sorry." He said. He felt like he'd been saying that a lot lately.

"For what?" Cartman took a seat next to him.

"For getting mad. I just... didn't think you... thought of me that way," he mumbled, thumb wrestling his own hand as he spoke.

Cartman swallowed. Not good. But he couldn't put on an act anymore. Not now. "I didn't think I did either."  
He chuckled, leaning back against the couch, arms crossed.

Silence again.

"So I was thinking maybe...," Eric started, his gaze wandering around the room. He felt Kyle's eyes on him again.

"Maybe... about what we said... about you cooking for me and... giving me tutor sessions," he continued. He couldn't believe he was saying this. "I was wondering if maybe... you'd wanna go through with that. Because... finals are coming up and I'm still kind of... well, not kind of, really fucking horrible at math, but I'd still want you to cook I guess. I hear you're pretty good at it." His eyes finally met the other who was peering at him curiously.

The redhead blinked. "Uh, yeah. We could do that."

"Really?" Cartman perked up, unsure as to why he was getting excited. He'd meant what he said before, having tutor sessions from Kyle did not sound like fun. But he had a pretty damn different perspective of said male after today. And the food. Stan could make simple things, but Kyle could prepare a gourmet meal from scratch. Or so he'd heard from Stan.

"I mean, good," he continued, looking away again.

Kyle smiled. A bit more slyly than the other would've preferred. "Yeah. Good. Can't wait."

Cartman couldn't help but wonder if he'd just dug his own grave.

* * *

 **short chapter but we're movin' forward**

 **thanks for the kind words :3 tbc**


	7. Chapter 7

"Why the hell did _x6_ become _x3_?"

"Because you're dividing the equations!"

"Then shouldn't it be _x2_?!"

"No because you're supposed to _subtract_ the arithmetic power!"

"But I thought this was a division problem!"

"It _is_ a division problem!"

"Then why the hell are we subtracting?!"

"Because that's just what you're supposed to do!"

" _Why_?!"

"Because it's a _rule_ of algebra, now _do it_!" Kyle put his palm forcefully on Cartman's textbook, huffing before he crossed his arms and watched Cartman work carefully.

Cartman snarled and put a hand on his forehead. This was absolute hell. Not just because of Kyle's methods but it still didn't make a lick of sense to him, no matter how hard the redhead tried to explain. He wished Stan were here, but he was at home with Rascal for awhile, and he said he might drop by later.

Cartman hoped he would.

He squeezed his pencil in anticipation, feeling Kyle's eyes on him. It was strange how intense of a feeling that was, and he'd never noticed it until recently. Swallowing, he moved his pencil to give the problem another try.

 _20x^6,6y^3,2z^4/_ 5x^3,2y^2,z^3

 _Yikes._

Kyle tried multiple times to explain it to him and take him through the steps already. Cartman couldn't stand algebra. Numbers and letters weren't meant to mix.

"Try it this way," Kyle said, standing behind Cartman and pointing at the problem with his finger. "Group them all separately."

"What do you mean?"

"Gimme your pencil," the redhead said, leaning over Cartman's shoulder and writing in his notebook. "Instead of doing it all at once like the problem implies, write it as _20x^6/5x^3, 6y^3/2y^2, 2z^4/z^3._ "

"Okay...," that went over his head a little. But he let Kyle write what he wanted.

"Now solve them separately and them put it together when you're done."

 _Okay. Twenty divided by five is four. And apparently you're supposed to subtract the stupid little numbers. So six minus three is... three. So it's..._ " _4x^3_?"

"Yes!" Kyle exclaimed. "Now the next one."

"... _3y^1_?"

"Yes, but, you don't have to write _y^1_. Since it's a one, just write _y_."

"Oh, okay. And then... how would you divide two by _z_?"

"Well, you don't. _Z_ in this case just counts as one. So just divide by one."

"Then it would be _2...z_?"

"Good!" Kyle said. "So the final answer is..?"

"4x^3,3y,2z?" Cartman stated as he wrote.

"Good job Cartman," Kyle smiled at him. "You got it."

"Thank God."

"Now onto the next problem."

 _Fuck._

Yeah, that had only been the first problem out of about thirty more in the book.

"Well try doing it on your own now and ask me if you need help," the smaller male said before walking into the kitchen to check the dinner that was cooking. It was starting to smell way too good for Cartman to be able to concentrate. A bead of sweat rolled down his head as he tried focusing on the next problem. Thankfully it was similar with just different numbers. He started moving his pencil.

"Maaaaan, that smells so good!" A younger voice called as Ike trotted down the stairs and went into the kitchen behind Kyle. "Why can't I have any?!"

Kyle angered his eyes and pointed a spoon at his younger brother. "I already told you it's not for you."

"But Kyle! Can't I just have even a little bit?" He used his puppy eyes, to which Kyle sighed and caved.

"Okay fine. But only a little bit."

"Yes!"

Cartman twitched his nose. Damn little Canadian stealing his food. He was working hard for it, too.

He got a few more problems done before he heard Kyle call him from the kitchen, announcing the food was ready.

Happily pushing back his chair and slapping his pencil down on the desk, he made his way over to the kitchen. His mouth watered at the sight of the set table, just as he had imagined, a full meal consisting of a big, full juicy chicken, a big heaping bowl of macoroni and cheese, mashed potatoes with gravy, and buttered rolls. He also whipped up a batch of sweet tea as a drink.

"Damn, are you trying to fatten me up or something?!" Cartman exclaimed, pressing his palms together as he took in the sight of the table.

Kyle smiled at this. "No, but I wish I could feed this to Stan and fatten him up a little."

Cartman agreed with this, Stan was frighteningly skinny. The kid really needed to eat more.

"Anyway, it's okay to go against a diet every once in awhile."

"You're telling me it's okay to go against a diet? So you _aren't_ perfect after all!" Cartman replied lightheartedly. He sat down in a chair at the table, rubbing his hands together.

"That's what I tried to tell you," Kyle said as he poured Cartman a cup of tea.

"Nu-uh."

"Yeah-huh. The other night when weー"

"Nu- _uuuuuh_!"

"Yes I didー"

" _Nope nope nope!_ " Cartman covered his ears, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

"Oh, brother," Kyle said, rolling his eyes, but he was smiling too.

Ike had already run off with a roll and disappeared back up the stairs. Cartman decided to let it slide, but nobody should be allowed to eat his specially cooked food! Except for Stan, who he kind of wished was here. It was nice to spend quality time with Kyle, but he was always missing his Hippie.

As if on cue, the front door opened to reveal Sheila and Jared coming home from a night out. "Bubba, we're home!" The woman called from the living room.

"Kay," Kyle replied, not paying much attention to his returning parents.

"You cooked while we were out?"

"Yeah."

"Bubba you know how dangerous that is, you could have burnt the house down!"

"But I didn't," Kyle said with a sneer of his tongue. "Geez, maybe we should do this at your house next time," he whispered, getting annoyed by his family. His parents thankfully dropped it and went up the stairs.

"Yeah, my mom won't bother us if I tell her not to," Cartman said with a chuckle.

"Must be nice," the redhead responded.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, being an only child. Your mom pretty much gives you everything you ask for. Don't have annoying little brothers on your ass all the time. You can do whatever, whenever." Kyle loved Ike but it was a chore for him to constantly watch over while his parents were away, when he wanted to spend time with Stan.

"Am I sensing a little jealousy?" Cartman snickered, but he was actually taken aback by Kyle's small confession. Never in a million years would he have guessed Kyle envied him in _any_ way.

Although it was becoming more believable nowadays.

 _"I'm trying to help you, even though I don't think you need it!"_

Cartman had not forgotten about that odd conversation in the bathroom that night. The words played in his mind when it was quiet. Whenever he looked at Kyle. He really couldn't understand why Kyle would say such a thing.

 _Well, because he meant it,_ part of him thought.

 _But Kyle isn't stupid. He knows I **do** need help._

 _Just look at how long it took me to figure out a basic algebra problem._

 _Unless he wasn't talking about my math skills so much as my... other traits..._

Cartman blinked. He also remembered what Stan had said to him in the nurse's office.

 _"Cartman, you don't need to [try to impress me.] I like you the way you are."_

He felt a burn in his brown eyes. Both Stan and Kyle told him to his face that he was fine the way he was.

So why didn't he believe them?

Even if it was true, Cartman still believed he had nothing on the other two. But as it turns out, they're both full of insecurities too.

If he was fine the way he was, what the hell was he trying so hard for?

"Cartman?" Kyle's voice snapped him from his thoughts.

He looked up. "Hmm?"

"What's with you? You were just staring at the floor mumbling..."

"Ah, nothing. So, food?"

Kyle stared at him in disbelief for a moment. Cartman should've figured he couldn't lie his way out of the truth. The Jew was onto him, as he always was. But he dropped it for now.

"Yeah. I'll get your plate."

"Thanks."

Kyle soon then set the full plate down in front of Cartman, the steamy smell pleasing his nose as it traveled up through his nostrils and exciting his senses. He began digging in instantly, and Kyle soon joined him with his own plate.

As time went by, they got to talking again.

"So how much of your work did you get done?"

Cartman poked at his potatoes. "A bit."

"Uh-huh. And by a bit you mean?"

The larger bit his lip. "Six or seven problems."

"That's a start, I guess. We'll just finish it afterwards."

"Ech." Cartman continued eating his potatoes. When they were gone, he moved onto the chicken. He had taken a leg and was demolishing it with his hands, getting grease all over him. Kyle watched and stuck his tongue out.

"Geez, slob much?"

"Ay, not my fault it's so damn good. That's on you."

Kyle rolled his eyes, not seeing pointing anything out as any good. He got up from his chair and walked over to Cartman, and to said boy's surprise, gently dabbed the messy part of his face with a napkin.

Cartman went completely still as Kyle preformed this action. The Jew didn't seem to think anything of it, but for some reason the dirty blonde found himself unable to move. The touch felt so gentle and had such good intention in it. Was he overthinking this? Probably, but damn, Kyle's hand on him should never feel that nice. It felt almost as nice as Stan's.

He nervously swallowed and took the napkin, taking over. "T-Thanks."

Kyle pulled his hand back, a flash of confusion in his eyes. "You're welcome.."

Cartman laughed awkwardly as he finished off cleaning his face, and put it back on the table as he pushed his plate away. "Damn I'm stuffed. Thanks again, Jew. It was really good."

"No problem," Kyle said as he put their dishes in the sink.

"So, let's get back to that math homework!" The larger male exclaimed, hoping to cast attention off of his embarrassing show of pleasure at the small gesture, but stopped when he heard the other clear his throat.

"Wait a minute, Eric."

 _Eric_. Why did his heart pound when he was addressed that way by Stan and Kyle?

He turned around. "What?"

Kyle gestured to the chair. "You're not getting out of this one. Sit."

"Come _oooooon_ ," he whined. "We just talked a lot."

The redhead responded by simply raising a brow, his arms crossed on the table. "Sit down."

" _Fiiiiiine_." Cartman said, before plopping back down on the chair and crossing his arms on. "But I'll never talk!" He spoke as if being interrogated, a smile on his lips. But Kyle wasn't smiling back.

"Cartman your eyes were red."

"What?"

"Your eyes were red, you looked like you were on the verge of crying. Spill."

"I just didn't get much sleep, that's all."

"Bullshit."

"No, I'm seriously!" Cartman defended. "Um, sleeping in Stan's bed that night made it so I can't really sleep very well in my own bed."

"You looked perfectly fine when you got here a few hours ago," Kyle continued accusing him. "So cut the crap. Why is it so hard for you to talk to me?"

"I don't know!" He exclaimed in response, putting his palms on either side of his head. "I guess I just don't want to sit here and talk to you about what a piece of shit I am!"

Kyle sighed, looking down at the kitchen floor. It was that night of their walk all over again. "Cartman, I thought I told you that isn't the case."

"That's right you did," Cartman said, seeing this as a good time to bring up their scene in the bathroom. "You said you didn't think I need help."

Kyle bit his lip. He wasn't getting out of this either.

"Listen, about your body... I just want you to knowーwell, I don't _want_ you to know, but I think you should know... I really, really don't think there's anything wrong with it." Kyle admitted, his hands slightly fiddling on his arms.

The larger male stayed quiet, allowing him to continue.

"I mean, you're big. There's no questioning that, butー! Not in a bad way!" He raised his comment when he received a pained look from the other. "Look, I don't really know how to explain it, but you're not like _disgustingly_ fat, you know? You're just a little bigger than everyone else, like a bigger person, not because of fat, just... ugh, you're more muscular and strong-looking than anything else, and Iー"

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa _whoa_ ," Cartman said, his brown eyes widening in disbelief. "That's what you think of my body? Strong-looking?"

"Well..., yeah."

Cartman was silent for what seemed like a long while before a smile crept onto his face. " _Doesn't it bother you that you're sitting there telling me I have a nice body?_ "

Kyle's eyes drooped. "...I guess not."

* * *

Cartman flopped down violently on his bed the second he got back to his bedroom that night. Stan hadn't been able to show, and that might've been for the best. Things didn't go exactly according to simple plan at Kyle's house tonight. It was a pretty productive conversation.

However, Cartman got to thinking again. He was feeling a little better about himself after that. He had managed to figure out his homework and get it done, and the conversation he had with Kyle, well... it made him realize some things.

For some reason, when anyone had complimented him before, he'd think yeah right and it would go right over his head. There wasn't something wrong with that, wasn't there? Shouldn't one be flattered by a compliment? Yet, he never was. He never thought anything of them. They never made him feel good or special or anything like that.

Then he started giving compliments when he started dating Stan. Despite the fact that Stan had a drinking problem, used to cut (not only on his arms, but somewhere along the way Cartman had discovered some old cuts on his thighs, as well,) an eating and sleeping disorder, and apparently a body dysmorphic disorder, he'd been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and plenty of other things wrong with him, he was still perfect. To Cartman, he was perfect. Yet Stan denied it.

And then there was Kyle. Kyle with the heart-shaped ass, one hell of a brain, some fine damn cooking skills, with money, popularity, all those things. He was perfect, despite what he had joked about earlier. He was perfect to Cartman. Oddly enough, he was. Yet he denied it.

And now here he was, receiving compliments, two of the closest people he had telling him he was fine the way he was. And he had been denying it.

It was going to be a never-ending cycle for them. If that was true, should it really be bothering him?

He understood what the other two were thinking. What they meant when they spoke to him, and he felt himself slowly waking up.

He took one look in the mirror and smiled at his reflection. He did have some muscle, now that he thought about it. Maybe more than he realized before.

He closed his eyes, falling into a content sleep.

 _Thank you, Stan._

 _Thank you, Kyle._

* * *

 **oooooooooh \ewe/**

 **last chap before things get real**

 **also listen that was also me talking when Kyle was saying he didn't know how to explain the way he liked Cartman looked but I want you guys to have a visual and see what I see**

 **there's this incredible person on deviantart, they're one of my favorite artists of all time and probably one of the best south park artists you'll ever see, they're called giobobobo and their gallery is just incredible, they have pictures like the main one for this story and some others that show what I mean when I say Cartman is big but still drop dead handsome, because I know that sounds weird, "take me home," "today is mine," and one simply called "KYMAN" in all caps are the best examples**

 **so do me and yourselves a favor and check out giobobobo's deviantart gallery some time if you've never done it, you will not regret**

 **also please don't scrutinize my math, I think it's right but it could be wrong, I can do some math but on the attitude spectrum I'm more on Cartman's boat**

 **that's the great thing about "fiction" it doesn't have to be all true :^**

 _ **tbc!**_

 **thank for you reviewing!**


	8. Chapter 8

**sorry for the weird absence ik I went on like a writing binge then realized it's almost may and like I've been procrastinating all my homework all semester so I've been doing it a lot lately and I have my final math test before finals too on tuesday and I got all this shit I got to memorize and you know I really wish I had kyle's brain**

 **but without further ado lets go**

* * *

Cartman wiped the sweat off his forehead for the umpteenth time that hour.

He gripped his pencil tightly between his fingers, only easing his hold when he was sure he could hear it snapping.

He stared down at his math test. The numbers radiated heat off the page, making Cartman swallow with discomfort. But he'd take straight numbers over some of these damn word problems.

Kyle had taught him the math. But the dirty blonde still couldn't figure out how to set them up properly.

 _A tray can hold 243 eggs. If there are 18 rows in a tray, how many columns are there?_

 _...What? What the hell kind of question was that?!_

He read it again. Kyle told him it helped to collect your given information then identify your unknown.

 _243 eggs. 18 rows. Don't know how many columns._

 _This is the weirdest, randomest shit I've ever heard._

He thought about it too hard, and his head started to hurt. He finally wrote his answer.

 _"Not enough info."_

He swallowed again. His brown eyes kept peering up at Kyle, hoping he'd give him some answers or body language or anything to help him through this. But of course, he was indulged in his own test, and his own brainiac world. Sighing, Cartman continued to wing the rest of it, just hoping he'd do decent.

* * *

"Man, that test hurt my fucking head," Cartman complained as he swung open his locker and threw his math book inside carelessly. "I need some aspirin or something."

"I didn't think it was that hard," Stan commented, his back and one of his feet pressed flat against the wall, slumped with his hands in his pockets.

Kyle refrained from expressing his thoughts on how easy he thought it was. "How do you think you did, Cartman?"

"I don't know honestly," the larger male answered. "I... kind of had to guess on a lot of them."

Kyle's eyebrows lowered at that. "You had to guess? I thought you had the math down."

"I do, but I'm not good at word problems! Nobody said anything about word problems!" Cartman bellowed, furious with their bitch of a teacher for that.

"Look, you probably were just overthinking," Kyle said. "Word problems aren't hard if you scan it all in your head."

"I tried, but my thought process just isn't good alright? Like, eggs and trays and rows?! What the hell am I supposed to make of all that?!"

"You're talking about that problem on the second-to-last page?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Well, what did you say?"

"I said not enough info."

"...What?"

"I wrote... not enough info."

Kyle was still for a moment, earning an eyebrow raise from Stan. The black haired boy knew his smaller boyfriend well enough; Kyle was mentally fathoming whether to keep his composure and move past the issue or lost his self control and explode on the poor guy.

He settled in the middle. "Cartman... that was literally just a basic division problem." He said, one of his green eyes twitching.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. All you had to do was divide 234 by 18."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?! They worded it so weird!"

"If you would just stop to think it over for a moment, it wouldn't be so hard." The redhead responded with clenched fists.

"I did, but like I said, my thought process it broken," Cartman replied. "But listen Kyle, don't make me feel bad about this. I'm better off not caring and just forgetting about it."

Kyle wanted to snap, but Stan cut in. "Listen Eric, I think what Kyle is trying to say is that he cares about you and wants you to succeed."

"Yes," Kyle murmured. Thank God Stan was there, because he was right, but Kyle would've worded it a little differently.

Cartman sighed then smiled. "Thanks Strawberry. Sorry I let you down. I'll try harder on our final. Well, see you two." He said as he started to leave.

He felt Stan's hand on his arm. "Where are you going?"

Cartman turned his head and raised a brow at his boyfriend. "Home. Where else?"

"Alright then...," Stan deadpanned, causing confusion to Cartman.

"What's with you?"

"Well, Kyle usually walks me home, but he has to take Ike to soccer, so I guess I was kind of hoping you could do it today."

Cartman blinked in astonishment. Stan hardly ever asked anyone to do anything for him. He felt rather flattered, actually.

Smiling, he affectionately rubbed Stan's black hair. "Sure cutie. Let's go."

* * *

As they walked down the sidewalk, they had a slight chance to catch up. Cartman had been spending a lot of time with the redhead lately, and he didn't realize until now that he hadn't had any alone time with Stan for quite some time now.

"I can't believe I fucked up some basic math problems." The larger male grumbled.

Stan looked at him. "It's okay. It was kind of confusing to me too. I only knew what to do because it was in the division section."

Cartman crinkled his nose. "The test was sectioned?"

"Y-Yeah," Stan answered, unsure if he wanted to laugh or be concerned. "First page was equations. Then fractions, then division and multiplication."

"Holy shit. I should start reading the instructions," Cartman said out loud. "There's seriously something wrong with me." His tone was not lighthearted, and his pained look he was casting down at the sidewalk didn't help.

Stan stopped walking and gently gripped Cartman's arm, stopping him also.

"Cartman, are you okay?"

Snapped from his thoughts, Cartman lifted his head to meet his boyfriend's blue eyes. "Of course. Why do you ask?"

"It's just that, well... listen, I know you don't like talking about these things, but... you just seem really... down lately."

Cartman groaned. So Stan saw through his act too. Why did he even bother anymore?

"Did Kyle say something to you?" Cartman couldn't help but ask.

"No, I haven't talked to Kyle about this... but there's something, isn't there?" Stan pressed him. "You can tell me."

Cartman swallowed. He didn't want to say such embarrassing things to his boyfriend, the only person who was ever romantically attracted to him. He went through words in his head, trying to find the right ones.

"I guess I don't know what you see in me," he answered finally, fiddling with his fingers.

Stan's eyes softened. "What I see in you?"

"Like, you told me you like me. You always say you love me. And I believe you, I do. But I don't really know why. Especially if Kyle is my competition." He spewed out the words unconsciously. Sure, he'd been relieved of his physical appearance stress after Kyle admitted some things to him, but today's math test was a hard hit to his mental capability, making him feel bad about himself all over again.

The redhead had forced him to talk so much lately it wasn't even fazing him much anymore. And he was glad to talk to Stan, because Stan probably wouldn't raise his voice even if he was on fire.

"Kyle isn't competition, Cartman," Stan explained gently. "I... love you both just the same." He said, but as he spoke he wondered if maybe Cartman meant something else.

Cartman sighed, "I know that's not how you feel. I'm sorry if I sounded accusing, cutie. I just meant thatー"

"Cartman... is it bothering you that I'm seeing you both at once..?" Stan asked in a small voice, the fear of disapproval clearly evident in his eyes.

"No, no, Stan! That's not what I was getting at."

"Are you sure?" The raven haired male answered. "Because... I know you two don't really get along, and...ー"

Cartman put a finger to his lips. "Stan, no. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry that came out that way." He was relieved when Stan closed his mouth and listened. "All I'm saying is that... I was to be as good for you as Kyle is. But I don't know how to be."

"What makes you think you're not?" Stan asked in confusion.

"Well, Kyle is smart and sophisticated and has money, among other things. At the end of the day I've got nothing on him. I'm stupid and penniless."

Stan was in shock. He never would've guessed Cartman would ever consider himself inferior to the redhead, let alone admit to it.

"Cartman, when has true love ever been based on money?"

The dirty blonde blinked. "You're right about that, but just look at how we both did with today's test...ー"

"You think I don't like you as much because you can't do math? Nobody really can do math."

"Kyle can."

"So, he studies harder than us. Yeah, he's smart, that's just how he is. But that doesn't mean I like him more than you."

"Well you guys have also been close since preschool. I've only just gotten my hands on you within the last couple of months."

"Well, that means we didn't have time to have a myriad of bad experiences as kids like Kyle and I did." Stan said, trying to put positive spins on Cartman's excuses.

"Yeah?" Cartman perked up at that.

"Now that we're older, I don't see that happening. So you and I kind of dodged a bullet I guess... and even during that time, you were always nicer to me than you were to anyone else, so... there's that."

Cartman felt relieved his boyfriend was able to recognize the benefits of their unusual relationship instead of spending his time dwelling on the bad ones like he did. That was another flaw he needed to work on, and now that he thought about it, it was also a flaw he shared with Kyle.

"Hey cutie... maybe I shouldn't be saying this, but Kyle is still pretty messed up about one of those bad experiences you just mentioned," he explained. "He still feels really anxious about the time you were diagnosed with Aspergers."

Stan blinked his eyes slowly. "He does?"

Eric nodded. "Yeah."

"He knows that was a misdiagnosis, right?"

"Yeah, but there was still something seriously wrong with you, even if it wasn't exactly that. And it was his reaction to it that he's concerned with. I'm just telling you because... I think you're right. Things like that shouldn't happen anymore. Kyle is set on making sure of that. And you're at peace, too. At least more so than you were...," he said as he gently gripped his forearms and rubbed them with his thumbs, right where his scars were. He hadn't cut himself since Cartman had caught him. "Now if we could get rid of the drinking, too..."

Stan rolled his eyes. "One adjustment at a time, please. Kyle's already been on my case about my diet."

"Okay, okay," Cartman chuckled, because he understood. He pulled Stan into a hug. "So I guess I can make an effort to not cause any drama or dwell on sadness either."

Stan returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Cartman's neck comfortably. "I'm glad."

"Hmm," Cartman hummed contently. "I love you, Stan."

"I love you too."

Cartman smirked. "And you're crazy if you think even for one second that I would disapprove of anything about my hippie," he said, referring to the noticeable fear emitting from Stan when he questioned Cartman's thoughts on his polygamy.

This made Stan smile. Cartman could feel it on his shoulder, and all traces of his sadness were gone.

They eventually reached the Marsh residence, where yelling could be heard even from outside. Stan had a distressed look on his face, and Cartman bit his lip.

"Why don't you come over to my house for the evening?" He asked, putting a hand on Stan's shoulder.

"I-It's fine Cartman. Thanks though." Stan shrugged him off and began walking towards the front door.

"Why? Please. I'm seriously. Come to my house."

"I want to make sure Rascal is okay," Stan said. "See you tomorrow." And he disappeared into his house.

With that, Cartman sighed and turned to walk home.

* * *

While eating his microwave macoroni dinner, the large male huffed and poked at it uninterestingly. He used to love his cheap and greasy frozen dinners, but after eating Kyle's food, he didn't care for them much anymore.

"What's wrong, hon?" Leanne asked, walking into the kitchen to find her son not eating.

"This food is crappy, mahm," he complained.

"I thought you loved Kid Cuisine!" She exclaimed.

"I did, when I was a _kid_ ," he explained. "I need some real food." _I need Kyle's food._

"Sorry hon, that's all we have. B-But I can go get some different food if you want," she said carefully.

Cartman sighed. There she went again, getting anxious and offering to go out of her way in fear of her son running away again. It was getting annoying.

"It's fine, mahm. You can't buy the food I want."

"O-Okay sweetie...," she said, and left the kitchen.

Cartman reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He typed a quick text for Stan.

 _Hey cutie. Wanna go over to Kyle's for dinner?_

He snickered as he invited them both over, figuring Kyle wouldn't care after a few eye twitches.

After a few moments, he saw the _R_. But no reply.

 _What the hell, is it that hard to answer my texts?_ He thought. Grumbling, he pushed the dial button.

"Cartman?!"

"Damn Stan calm down. What's going on?"

"Kyle... he's in the hospital! Y-You have to come quick...," he sobbed on the other end.

Cartman's heart stopped. He three on his coat and boots and ran out to the living room. "Mom! I need you to drive me to the hospital right now!"

* * *

 **ooooooooooo**

 **thanks for reviewing! tbc**


	9. Chapter 9

**ayo**

 **heyy can I just say something real quick? ehy Miss MoKa I want you to know I read all your feedback on all my stories and lemme tell you I really appreciate everything, I'm really glad you are enjoying my stories I hope you continue to enjoy them, thanks so much for reading my stories and taking some time to leave some nice comments you're beautiful :3**

 **I'll do kyle pov next chap, but I think this is overdue so lets not waste any time and jump in now!**

* * *

When Stan entered his house after separating from his boyfriend, he tossed his jacket aside and let out a deep sigh, slumping against the door in an attempt to get a moment of rest after a long day at school.

 _"I guess I don't get what you see in me."_

 _"I was just trying to impress you. Stupid, huh?"_

 _"I just want to be as good for you as Kyle is."_

Stan's shoulders slumped sadly. He and Cartman's little talk had gone well but as a person with lots of experience in self-loathing he knew it wouldn't be enough to last. The things Cartman had been saying to him lately left him in shock and tugged at his already weak heart.

What if Cartman ended up just like him?

He never wanted anyone to go through that, let alone one of the two people he cared about most.

Rubbing the temples of his aching head, he walked away from the door and towards the garage. He flicked on the light switch and stilled in horror when the small pallet he'd made for the wounded animal was empty, and smears of blood were seen on the concrete floor, as if something had been dragged.

Uncoordinatedly reaching for the door handle behind him, he stumbled back into the house. "Mom?"

He carefully called out to his mother after he realized the yelling had stopped. His dad was nowhere to be seen, so he probably went out.

"Yes Stanley?" Sharon replied from the kitchen.

"Where's Rascal?" He asked. His mother was the only one Stan had talked to about the animal. She didn't like the idea, but at least she could ignore it.

Sharon signed as she stacked clean plates atop each other on the counter. "I'm sorry Stan. Your father found him this morning after you left for school, and beat it with the shovel and dragged it out to the trash."

Stan looked down at the floor angrily at his mother's explanation. He was at a loss for words. He hadn't had the animal that long, so it wasn't completely tragic to him that it had diedー he was angry because his father didn't even bother to notice the animal's bandaged legs, the dish bowl set out by the small bed made for him, he only took one look and sought to dispose of the apparent vermin intruding on the house.

He should've known to not try and successfully keep a secret like that from his father, but Stan felt disappointed because he was at the point in his life where he weighed career options and he decided he wanted to be a veterinarian, if he successfully could bring the raccoon back to good health.

"I see." He mumbled sadly before turning around and trudging up the stairs. He would've loved to just beat the shit out of his dad, Stan was getting more than fed up with his family. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and sat down at his desk, putting his face in his hands.

 _I need a drink._

 _No, no I can't._

 _Kyle and Cartman are going out of their way to try and improve themselves, for me._

 _They don't want me to drink._

 _I can do that for them._

 _One wouldn't hurt, though._

That's what his mind always told him; _one wouldn't hurt._ But then one would turn to five, then to ten.

He stood up from his desk, intending to go raid his father's liquor cabinet when his cell phone began ringing. Stopping and slowly turning, he sighed and quirked a brow at the number. He didn't recognize it, but the dial code was local, so he answered.

"Hello?"

 _"Is this Stanley Marsh?_ "

Stan blinked. "Uh, yes. Who is this?"

 _"My name is Doctor Hume, and I've got a patient here at the South Park hospital asking for you. His family is here, but he doesn't seem to be cooperating with the staff unless you're here. So we've retrieved your number from his cell phone."_

"Who?"

 _"Kyle Broflovski."_

Stan's heart stopped and his grip on the phone loosened, it would've fallen out of his hand had he not instinctively had it pressed so close to his face, he covered his mouth slowly with his free hand as tears welled up in his eyes. "Kyle? What happened to him? Is he okay?" He asked.

 _"It was a hit-and-run. He has some broken bones and internal bleeding, among other injuries. I advise you to come visit when you canー"_

"I'm on my way." Stan said as he hung up quickly and threw his jacket back on. Leaving the key to the liquor cabinet behind on his desk to be forgotten.

* * *

Cartman ran through the hospital doors. He'd jumped out of the car before his mom had even stopped completely.

He ignored the lady at the front desk questioning him as he saw Stan way down at the end of the long corridor and headed that direction.

Stan was standing outside of Kyle's room. His mother, father and Ike were inside the room, by his side as Kyle was asleep.

The black haired boy looked inside, biting his lip anxiously as his fingertips rested on his bottom lip, his other arm hooked across his chest.

"Stan!"

He turned at the sound of Cartman's voice calling his name, and the larger male was met with incredibly sad blue eyes. "Eric..."

"Where's Kyle at? Is he alright? Is he in there?" Cartman stopped next to his boyfriend and looked inside of the room to confirm his question. Kyle seemed to be sleeping peacefully while his family sat next to him.

"S-Someone hit him with their car at the soccer game," Stan explained as he looked back inside of the room. "A drunk driver."

"Shit," Cartman said, his head dizzy. "They catch the person?"

"I don't know," Stan swallowed. "I don't know."

Cartman looked in the room in silence. He looked at Kyle, bandages with blood stains all around his petite body.

Mother of God.

How could something like this have happened?

As if they all didn't have enough to worry about lately. And some idiot had to incapacitate the redhead!

Cartman turned his attention to his boyfriend who had silent tears rolling down his cheeks, his arms crossed.

Cartman's eyes went sad. This was so not good. Not only was he worried for Kyle but this had to be tearing Stan apart, after he was just finally starting to get better.

"You know things will get better, don't you?" Cartman said carefully, worried about how Stan might react to this. "You know that right?"

Stan's cold blue eyes fell on him, his mouth quivering slightly as he tried to contain his anger. He said nothing in response and looked back at the hospital bed.

Cartman swallowed nervously. How the hell were they going to recover from this one in one piece?

 **\- p a r k**

Hours later, Kyle's family had to return home for the night, but the other two boys stayed. Stan had barely moved or spoken a word since Cartman had arrived.

Cartman put a hand on his shoulder. "Stan, you look horrible. Please go get something to eat. I'll stay here with Kyle."

The dirty blonde felt Stan's shoulders go up and down subtly in a low sigh. "I can't."

"Please," Cartman pleaded, before smiling sadly a bit. "You know how crazy Kyle gets when you don't eat. You don't want to listen to that unpleasant yelling again, do you?"

"Wish I could." He replied sadly, but giving up as that seemed to do the trick, Stan closed his eyes. "But fine..," he said in a low voice. Removing himself from underneath Cartman's hand he miserably walked to the cafeteria, leaving behind his two boyfriends.

Cartman sighed heavily and wiped the sweat from his forehead, still in utter shock at the whole situation. It was so sudden it didn't even seem like it was really happening. But here he was in the hospital with Kyle lying in bed after being hit by a car.

He slowly walked into the room and sat down in the empty chair next to Kyle's bed, putting his chin in his hands.

"Alright Kyle. I think you've gotten enough beauty sleep for one day, don't you?" He tried, scooting the chair closer to the bed. "Time to wake up now."

Kyle made no movement other than his light, even breathing. His green eyes remained closed.

"I mean, Stan told me what happened. You've already woken up a couple times right? Kept saying Stan's name? I'm Eric Cartman, by the way."

No movement.

"Can you wake up again while Stan's here? If you don't, I think he's going to go crazy." He continued, his voice getting less strong with every word. "I'd kinda like to see you awake though, too. At first I thought I didn't like your constant chattering or yelling but now I'm starting to think I like that better than this silence."

When the redhead still showed no signs of waking up, Cartman bit his lip, his wall crumbling. Only this time it fell further than it ever had in the past couple of months.

"Kyle... please. Need you to wake up. I wasn't going to tell you this, but... you and Stan... have really helped me out a lot lately. Those things you said about me the other night... they really meant a lot. You know, my mom says stuff like that to me all the time. That I'm handsome, and stuff. I never believed her. I didn't even really believe Stan when he told me. But for some reason when it came from you, it was different. I guess it's because I'm still in shock you like the way I look, when lately all I've been thinking about is how shitty of a person I am compared to you. I.. I want to thank you for it. But I can't do that if you're sleeping, so... you know."

Kyle's eyelids moved gently, and a small groan was heard in the back of his throat.

Cartman smiled sadly. "And Stan... you should see him. He's a wreck today, even more so than usual. So you gotta wake up cause there's no telling what he might do if you're not okay. So you need to get your heart-shaped ass out of bed as soon as possible."

A little sliver of green was seen between his eyelids, looking up at him in confusion, then a small smile formed on his lips. "Eric..."

* * *

 **whoooooooop (◡﹏◡)**

 **thanks kindly for your reviews sorry for leaving a long ass cliffy, tbc!**


	10. Chapter 10

"Soup's on!" Cartman called as be made his way through the door and set his bag of goodies down on the bedside table.

Blue and green eyes fell on him and they both slightly sat up from their slouched positions. Kyle peered at the bag curiously as he sat on the hospital bed, recovering smoothly.

It had been a week since he'd been hit by the car, and his family had visited him every day, along with Stan and Cartman paying him visits after school.

"Just went to the store to get some grub," Cartman explained as the other two boys were eyeing the bag. "Wasn't sure what you wanted, but I just made a guess," he continued as he pulled out a chicken pita all warm and wrapped up and handed it to Kyle.

Kyle simpered. "You remembered."

"I'm good at that kind of stuff when it has to do with food," Cartman waved his hand and dug through the bag again. "And this...," he stated, pulling out a spicy black bean pita, "is for you, Stan. Don't worry, there's no meat in it."

Taking the sandwich and squeezing it in his hand a bit, the corner of the black-haired male's lips twitched upwards ever so slightly. "Thanks." He mumbled, his voice barely audible. Cartman swallowed, turning back to the bag again. Kyle was recovering well, but Stan hadn't seemed to change over the course of the week. In fact, he almost seemed worse. He still sounded tired, pissed, and scared. Not that Cartman blamed him, but he wished Stan would lighten up sometimes. It was depressing. At least he was eating, though.

"And what exactly are _you_ eating?" Kyle questioned the larger male, his tone somewhat accusing.

"Uhh," Cartman said in response. He tightened his grip on the bag before answering. "KFC."

Kyle's eyebrows raised in disapproval. "You had better walk that off when you're finished."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say coach," Cartman sat down on the empty chair on the other side of Kyle's bed with a thud and dug in to his full chicken meal.

The soft tapping of rain could be heard on the windows while the three ate in silence, watching a sitcom on the television. When they finished, Cartman stood up to collect the trash and toss it in the bin.

"Well, I'm gonna go use the little boy's room. Don't go anywhere, Strawberry," he called before walking out of the room. Kyle rolled his eyes but turned the television off with the remote.

Stan was looking at the screen on his phone with glassy eyes. After a minute or so he sighed and stood up from his chair. "I need to go home."

Kyle winced in disappointment, but nodded, as if he expected him to do that. "Okay."

"I'll be back tomorrow sometime," Stan stated quietly as he put on his denim jacket.

Kyle closed his eyes. "Okay."

Turning back to face the redhead, the raven-haired boy sighed. Hesitating for a moment as his hand fiddled in his pocket, he decided to just leave. "See you," he said, and went out the door.

Kyle looked down at his lap with sad green eyes. "Bye, Stan." He said quietly, not loud enough to be heard by anyone.

Cartman returned shortly afterwards and stretched until he heard a satisfying pop in his shoulders. Glancing around the room, he peered at the redhead in confusion. "Where'd Stan go?"

"Home," Kyle answered as he rested his back on the headboard of the bed.

Cartman's lip pouted slightly. "He didn't even say bye to me. What's up with him?"

Shrugging, Kyle's gaze shifted to the side. "I wish I knew."

"I mean yeah, some dumbass ran you over and put you in the hospital. That's a shitstorm, but, you're doing okay, aren't you?"

The smaller male nodded. "I feel a lot better now."

Cartman pursed his lips. "So I don't understand why Stan doesn't."

Kyle looked over at Cartman curiously.

The dirty blonde continued. "The day you were checked in, as you can imagine, he was pretty messed up. I thought he'd feel better by now, but honestly he hasn't been acting much different."

Kyle's shoulders slumped in a soundless sigh. "Yeah well, maybe he'll come around when I can finally check out."

"I know I will," Cartman said with a chuckle and rubbed his hands together, feeling a bit chilly. "How are you not freezing your ass off in here?"

Kyle simpered at the question but gave no answer.

 _Maybe because an ass like that just has skill,_ Cartman thought. _Or maybe because he's hot._

These thoughts became more dominant in his mind as the week progressed. At some point he stopped questioning it, but there are still things he didn't say aloud.

"It's getting late," Kyle said, looking into Cartman's eyes. "Shouldn't you be heading out too?"

"What, you throwing me out? I'm hurt."

"Well, no, but I don't want the whole world to have to stop because of me."

"Like you chose to be hit by a car," Cartman rolled his eyes and sat down in the chair. "Sorry Strawberry, but it's Friday night, and you're stuck with me."

Kyle nodded, and Cartman was relieved that the redhead seemed to prefer his presence over being alone.

"These hospitals reek, though. I feel like I'm gonna catch something just being exposed to the air."

Kyle said nothing, just continuing to let Cartman talk while he looked at him. Cartman clucked his tongue, wondering why he was being so quiet.

"And the food here sucks. And I'm cold." He continued. He expected Kyle to roll his eyes and remind him he could walk out the door at any time. But what happened next he never would have guessed.

Kyle lifted the covers on the bed and scooted over a bit to make more room. "Want to come under?"

Cartman stared, dumbfounded. "What?"

"You heard me," Kyle replied, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah, but, like... what?"

"Well if you're cold... just come under."

"Huh?"

"Are you going to do it or not?" Kyle asked with a huff, crossing his arms.

Cartman blinked. This was certainly out of the blue. Everyone he knew was acting so damn weird lately. But it wasn't as if he was opposed to the idea. "Won't it mess with your injuries?"

Kyle shook his head. "Not if you're on bottom."

"Is that what this iー"

"Just, shut up and lay down, Eric," Kyle grumbled, a small blush on his cheeks.

 _Okay then._

Cartman complied after kicking off his shoes and crawling into the small bed. Kyle stayed in his sitting position but eyed Cartman's chest, then looked at his features, silently asking permission to lay his head there.

Cartman nodded, giving the redhead the green light and he gently did so, snuggling on top of the larger male, who proceeded to wrap the blankets around them and pull them up.

"That's better I guess," Cartman said cautiously, unsure of where to put his arms. He had them sprawled awkwardly on either side of him, having no clue what was safe to do.

"Just put your arms around me, Eric." Kyle murmured quietly, causing the other male to raise a brow.

"Did they pump you full of the good stuff today?" He asked, and was rewarded with sharp fingernails digging into his chest.

"Ow! Okay, alright," he stuttered and firmly, but gently wrapped his arms around Kyle, who shifted to pull them closer together and make them fit on the bed.

Cartman swallowed. He felt like he was on some thin fucking ice. This was his boyfriend's boyfriend, who even though said boyfriend likely wouldn't have an issue with it, still seemed wrong to be secretive about. Two, Kyle was injured. Cartman wasn't exactly Mr. Cadabra Hands. Three, _fuck_ it felt nice to hold Kyle. It shouldn't. But it did.

Cartman squirmed underneath the Jew uncomfortably, who groaned tiredly.

"Stoppit." The redhead mumbled.

"Sorry, it's just... I wasn't prepared for this," he admitted, not even bothering to keep his cool on.

Kyle sighed and decided to fess up, unable to think of another reasonable explanation. "Stan left."

Cartman put his head back in the pillow. "Ahh, so I'm his replacement. It's good, though. I've been informed I make a good pillow," he answered, moving his hips back in an effort to not make his crotch have any contact with Kyle's body.

Kyle poked his head up to look Cartman in the eye's. "It's not like that." He said defensively.

Cartman quirked a brow. "How is it not?"

Kyle bit his lipー which Cartman absolutely did _not_ find sexy; he could see the confusion and the bit of hurt swarming in his green eyes as he failed to answer the question.

Realizing his mistake, Cartman shook his head. "Aight, look, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to give you a hard time. Just trying to make conversation, I guess."

Kyle looked down and his palm laid flat dangerously on Cartman's chest. His fingers twitched in anticipation but he restrained himself. "I was also just thinking... about what you said."

"About what I said when?"

"That stuff you said to me when you thought I was unconscious."

"Oh... _that_ stuff."

Smiling a bit mischievously, Kyle nodded. "Yeah. That stuff."

"Okay. What about it?"

 _I want to tell you that everything I've said is true, that maybe we'd be good together, and I need you, and I want to try loving you,_ Kyle thought. But the words that came out of his mouth were different. "I wanted to tell you that everything I've said, and done in the recent past... take it how you will. Do what you want with it. Whatever you decide, I'll go along with."

Cartman's features contorted in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... We're both involved with Stan, Cartman, and we don't exactly have the best track record... and I know I'm no picnic. Hell, I played a big role in Stan's misery during childhood... so, I wouldn't be surprised if you... you know... decide to not get involved with me after all."

Cartman was taken aback. " _Me_ decide to not get involved with _you_? I think that's my line, Shortcake."

Kyle sighed, looking down. "I can't promise I'd make you happy."

"You've made me pretty happy already, in this short time... were you not even listening when I told you all of.. that stuff?" He asked. In the back of his mind, he wondered why it sounded like the two of them were talking about hooking up.

Kyle perked his lips. "But I'll make you miserable, too. I don't know how, or when, but it's bound to happen. Just look at Stan."

Cartman groaned and pulled Kyle against him comfortably. "I thought we already discussed this, you need to forgive yourself for that. Stan ain't mad at you. And I'm not just saying that, this time. Those were his words. Honestly, Kyle... I talked to Stan about it."

Kyle's mouth hung open. "You did?"

"Briefly, but yeah."

Angrily, Kyle pulled himself from Cartman's hold, picked up a pillow and smacked him with it. "That's private, you asshole!"

Cartman suppressed the laugh that bubbled inside of him at Kyle's technique of letting out his anger. Holding the pillow down with his hands, he answered. "It's not private against Stan if it heavily concerns him."

"When did you say this to him?!"

Cartman thought for a moment. "About a week ago. The last time I saw him before... oh... before we both came here."

Kyle grit his teeth. "And now he's acting this way."

Cartman raised his hands defensively. "No Kyle, he was fine after I talked about that to him, I swear. He didn't start this weird behavior until after you were hospitalized."

Calming down a bit, Kyle turned away with a blush, his eyes mad. "But you know how Stan is. No matter how many times you shoot him, he won't even bother to try and dig the bullets out. Everything just sits there and builds up until he's had enough!"

"Hey, calm down," Cartman soothed him, putting his hands on Kyle's shoulders and rubbing them carefully, refraining from messing with his bandages or wounds. "Look, I'll figure out what's going on with that hippie tomorrow. Even if I gotta beat it outta him. For now, you shouldn't stress yourself. Just relax."

Taking a deep breath, Kyle relaxed against Cartman, once again comfortably nestling his head against his strong chest. "Sorry," he murmured. He felt like he'd been saying that a lot lately.

"No harm done," the larger male answered. Smirking, he added, "I'll take your slander over you being unconscious and quiet any day."

At this, Kyle smiled briefly. Then he spoke, "I just can't stand it when Stan's upset and won't tell me why."

Cartman proceeded to lay back down onto the bed, taking Kyle with him as he held him in his arms. "He's probably upset because of this shit." He stated, referring to Kyle being stuck in the hospital.

"Yeah, but like you said, he should be recovering as I am... but he's not."

Carman shrugged slightly. "He tends to brood a lot. I'm sure he'll be fine."

Kyle shook his head. "I can't think like that, Cartman. I just know he's keeping something from me. Because that's how he deals. Because that's what _I_ did to him."

Looking down curiously, Cartman met his eyes. Kyle continued.

"Look, I know Stan isn't mad at me for anything. I _know_ that, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm the one who shaped him. All those years ago when I found out that he drank alcohol, I was livid, Cartman, and I mean _scorching_ livid. Because I was scared for him. But my fear comes out as anger. I didn't help him, or support him. Instead, I rebuked him and made everything worse. And so now, he won't tell me things like that, because I... I think he's scared I'm going to hate him. I'm sure that's why he didn't tell me about the cutting. I just know it. And so when he's upset, I need to know why, because I need to help him. I need to _be there_ for him. But it's hard when I don't know the reason. I can't help but think it has something to do with me."

Cartman's features expressed hurt. Hurt for both his boyfriend and the redhead he was snuggling with. He had absolutely no clue what to say. What had he gotten himself into by running into Stan's arms after he ran away from home?

All he could do was hold Kyle tighter, comforting him by rubbing his back, his hair, anything he could reach until Kyle fell asleep against him.

Closing his eyes, he nodded once. He'd definitely find out what was going on with that damn hippie tomorrow.

For all their sakes.

* * *

 **cue touchy feely stage**

 **damn it i hope i'm not rushing them**

 **fuck if i am, i'm sorry. turns out it's really hard to write developed kyman**

 **for obvious reasons, it's really fucking hard**

 **it's easier to just make them have angry sex with no context**

 **but i can't do that right now**

 **i figure stan is the perfect thing for them to bond over, so here we go~**

 **anyway, thank you for the reviews!**

 **they really help me continue**

 **tbc~**


	11. Chapter 11

**warnings for this chapter: brief menacing and harassment/abusive!randy, mentions of sex**

* * *

Cartman yawned for the umpteenth time that morning.

He couldn't believe he was awake this early.

But the nurses had effectively shooed him away saying they needed to privately check up on Kyle's healing.

 _Nothing I haven't seen before,_ he thought as he walked down the sidewalk, smirking a bit at the thought. His smile slowly faded, however, when he remembered the events that had taken place the night before.

It was easy to succumb to the suffering of their pasts. Cartman hated watching Stan and Kyle do it.

He really wanted to try to get better, to set an example for the two. But he knew it was easier said than done, and it wasn't fair of him to expect them to be capable of recovery when he wasn't sure he was even willing to do it for himself.

Cartman took off his jacket as the weather was actually getting warm. Winter had apparently decided to not extend into May this yearー which he was okay with. Now his Stan wouldn't have to wear so many pesky layers of clothing. Which made Cartman's life easier.

Cartman frowned at the thought of his boyfriend. Checking the time on his phone, which he noted was very close to dying, he read the time.

7:34 AM.

He wasn't sure if Stan would be awake. But he figured it was worth a drop by his house anyway. He didn't like the thought of going home to be alone with his thoughts.

Not that confronting Stan about his behavior this week was going to be enjoyable, though.

Wincing, Cartman forced his legs towards the Marsh residence. He patted his pockets and grumbled when he realized he kept forgetting to request a key. Knocking loudly on the door, he looked around as he waited for an answer.

The door made a creaking noise as the nob was turned, and then revealed the still half-asleep sixteen year-old, rubbing his eye as he stood in his pajamas Cartman liked. A black V-neck with blue plaid pants, complimenting his hair and eyes. Cartman couldn't help the grin that played on his lips. "Hey."

When the last of the sleep was rubbed out of his eye, he used his hand to shade his face from the bright sunlight making contact with him that day as he looked at Cartman. "Hey."

"Did I wake you up?" Cartman asked.

"No."

"Oh, okay... that's good. Yeah, I know I'm awake early as fuck. Can.. I come in?"

Stan noticeably hesitated before opening the door a bit and stepping aside, clearing the way for him. "Yeah."

"Kewl." Cartman kept his cool and entered the Marsh's home, peeling off his beanie and shoes, setting them neatly by the closet as he normally did.

Stan shut the door but didn't immediately turn around. The way his shoulders trembled as he tried to compose himself did not go unnoticed by the larger boy. Finally, Stan spoke as he turned to face his lover. "Why are you here?"

Cartman snorted. "I can't come by and see my cutie?" He simpered, although felt bad as he thought about the fact that he didn't really come here just to see himー that was simply a bonus.

Stan gave him a half shrug and kept his gaze on the floor. His body language screamed _'I need a hug,'_ and the dirty blonde was happy to oblige, stepping forward and embracing Stan, all his love pouring out.

Stan seemed a bit surprised, but wrapped his arms around Cartman's neck and hugged him close, burying his flushed face in his neck.

The larger male ran his fingers through Stan's long, soft black hair. "Parents?"

"Upstairs sleeping," Stan mumbled.

Cartman clucked his tongue quietly. "Damn."

Normally Stan would've pulled away by now, but he remained secure in Cartman's hold, taking a deep breath. "Why are you awake so early?"

Cartman bit his lip, and told him the truth. "I uh, spent the night with Kyle at the hospital. Nurses kicked me out this morning."

Stan pulled back a little to look Cartman in the eyes. "You did?"

"Y-Yeah. I mean, he needed it, and I felt kind of bad about it, but nothing happened, you know."

Stan peered at him with glassy eyes. "It's fine... I'm glad you did that."

"Really?" Cartman perked up. He didn't mention the fact he'd done it because Stan walked out on them so quickly.

"Yeah...," Stan murmured, then came out of Cartman's embrace to sit on the couch, slouched forward and he fiddled with his hands in his lap.

Remembering why he came here, the larger male sat down next to him. "Well like, I'm glad you're glad." Cartman explained. "I mean, I figured you'd be okay with it, but I wanted to tell you anyway, since keeping things to ourselves is kind of unhealthy."

Stan's brows furrowed as he shot Cartman a questioning look.

Feeling caught, Cartman smiled nervously. "Just an offhand comment."

A hint of anger flashed in Stan's eyes, the only emotion he'd shown since Cartman arrived. He turned his gaze back down onto the floor. "Why are you here Cartman?" He asked again, a little more firmly this time.

Sighing, Catman scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Stan, doing his best to focus his attention. "Tell me what's going on with you."

Stan laughed bitterly at that. "Which part do you mean?"

Squeezing Stan's shoulder, Cartman continued. "Don't think I haven't noticed you being weird this week. Kyle noticed, it too. We're just worried about you, Stan. Please tell me what's going on. I know something's bothering you besides what happened to Kyle."

Stan jerked in his hold, and his head dropped, making his black hair dangle and completely cover his face. "There's nothing you need to know."

"Bullshit."

"Just drop it."

"No."

"Cartman...," Stan tried to yank away from him, but Cartman only wrapped his arms around Stan from behind, pulling him back down.

Nuzzling his face in the nape of Stan's neck, he whispered quietly, "Stan, please. You know I'm not good at this stuff. Don't make this harder than it needs to be."

Tears stung in the dead blue eyes that belonged to the youngest Marsh but he held them at bay. "I said it's nothing!" He cried, trying to lean away from his boyfriend. "Just leave me alone!"

Stan was raising his voice? It was _definitely_ not nothing.

Cartman wasn't giving up and he grabbed Stan's arms, forcing him to turn around as he sat in Cartman's lap. The larger male gripped Stan's chin in two fingers, pulling him in for a sweet kiss full of love and kindness. The hippie struggled at first, but whimpered as he gave up and went limp in Cartman's hold. When they pulled apart for air, brown eyes saw tears welling up in Stan's.

Rubbing his arms soothingly, he spoke. "I can sit here and wait all day, Stan."

The affection broke the damn that had been containing his built-up conflicted feelings and Stan began openly sobbing, which encouraged Cartman to embrace him, tight. The only comfort he could provide whenever Stan cried. He hated causing his boyfriend to cry, but he needed to know what was going on.

"I can't tell you," Stan managed miserably between sobs.

"Why not?" Cartman asked, rubbing Stan's back with his large hand. "I-Is it because it's something you don't want Kyle to know? I know I didn't exactly keep your last secret very well, but...," he trailed off.

Stan shook his head. "Because m' dad would kill me..." he whispered.

* * *

 _One week earlier_

Stan returned home that night after visiting Kyle the first day he was in the hospital. His heart pounded in fear and sadness, unable to process what was happening.

Feeling rather disoriented as he stumbled back to his house, he didn't notice their car parked in the driveway, and didn't notice the large crack in the front window.

When he slowly went up the stairs to go to his room, he heard his parents yelling from behind their closed bedroom door.

Wonderful. What was it this time?

As Stan walked through the hall, he made out some words from his mom's voice. Something about the car... going out and driving while wasted...

Stan's eyes widened and his face turning death pale as the realization struck him.

There was no way.

He walked towards his parent's bedroom and put his ear to the door, listening to the fight. God he hoped his premonition was wrong.

"You've crossed the line this time, Randy!"

"Get off my ass Sharon!"

"This... was a hit and run! A hit and run! There's nothing to excuse this time!"

Stan could almost feel his heart stop. His blood ran cold as he scratched his fingernails in anger against the door.

Turning from cold to boiling in 3.5, Stan put his palms on his head and tugged violently at his hair.

He hadn't noticed the voices tone out, and he couldn't stop himself from forcefully throwing the door open.

Not thinking straight, his whole body trembling, he interrupted his parents and gave his father a deadly stare.

"You're the one who hit Kyle, aren't you?" He hissed, dangerously eyeing Randy who gave him a no more appealing look back.

"Stan, leave." His father demanded.

"Aren't you?" He pressed him. Sharon looked at her son with fear flashing in her eyes.

"Stanley, please, go to your room," she said quietly, worried about the consequences of the situation.

"Listen to your mother, you little brat," Randy griped, his voice like venom.

"I'm calling the police," Stan said before turning around to leave, but was stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Sharon scream. Not a second later, he felt his shirt being yanked back and he was forced to turn around. Randy pushed Stan against the wall and was tightly gripping his throat, knocking the wind out of him as he reached for his father's wrists, trying to pull them off.

He gasped for breath and opened his eyes to meet angry, fire-ridden ones that were his father's.

"Randy stop!" Sharon screamed, putting her hands on Randy's shoulders, trying to yank him away from their son, but he simply shoved her away.

"If he fucking listens to what I have to say, he'll walk out without a scratch," Randy said dangerously as he turned his attention back to Stan, who was struggling in his grip, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Now you listen to me... you can go call the police, waste your time... but know that if you do... the next time I see you... you ain't gonna like the consequences... can't be convicted of the crime unless there's solid proof... and you ain't got no proof, do you?" He tightened the grip on Stan's throat, causing Stan to gasp painfully and weakly claw at his father's hands.

"Even if I did go to jail... the guy's'll bail me out.. like always... and when I get home... I'll make you wish you were never born. So it's best to keep your damn little mouth shut. You hear me?"

Stan gasped and his eyes widened in fear, he was losing air and he managed to nod, causing Randy to let go of him and he fell to the floor, coughing as he tried to catch his breath.

"That's my boy." Randy said, as if he hadn't just heartlessly threatened his own child in the most menacing of ways. "Now run along to your room, son."

* * *

Somewhere during the kisses and hugs and tears, Cartman had fallen back asleep while trying to get answers out of Stan.

While he laid comfortably on the couch, a soft blanket had been thrown over him to help him. Stan stood over him next to the couch, looking down at his peacefully sleeping boyfriend. His eyes red and glistening, he sighed shakily.

"I'm sorry Eric."

 ** _x.x.x_**

While at the hospital, Kyle crossed his arms as he tried to get comfortable in the bed. He realized this was a difficult task with neither Cartman or Stan there to hold him.

Sulking or not, he'd see the most of Stan, damn it.

As he reached for his cell phone, he blinked in surprise when it started ringing. A smile lit up his face as he read the name and answered.

"Stan?"

 _"Hey, Kyle."_

"Hey," Kyle replied, holding his phone with both hands, a smile on his face.

 _"How are you feeling?"_

"Better now," the redhead squeezed his phone. "Are you going to be able to come up today?"

 _"Yeah."_

"That's good...," Kyle said. "I miss you."

There was a short pause before Stan answered. _"I'm sorry. It's been kind of rough this week."_

"I... kinda noticed," Kyle responded, wincing at Stan's sad tone. He sounded completely helpless. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

 _"You mean besides what happened to you...? Well... my dad, uh... my dad found Rascal and thought it was random vermin and killed him."_

Kyle frowned and his eyes drooped. "I'm sorry Stan."

 _"It's... it's okay. I'm over it now."_

"So you'll come see me?"

 _"I'll come as soon as Cartman wakes up."_

"Cartman's there?"

 _"Yeah."_

"Oh, okay. I want both of you here as much as possible, anyway."

 _"Yeah,"_ Stan replied, tapping his fingers on his phone as he gazed at Cartman's sleeping form. _"He told me he spent the night with you there."_

Kyle bit his lip. "Y-Yeah, he did. Sorry, Stan, it's just... I can't sleep very well alone... you know that."

Stan sighed on the other end. _"I know. And I'm sorry about this week... I'm not mad about you and Cartman either."_

"You're not?"

 _"I'm not_ that _hypocritical."_

Kyle laughed nervously at this. "I know, but I still feel weird about it. I mean, I never would've guessed that I'd... get so close to him. What's it like... you know, dating him?" he asked shyly.

Stan thought for a moment. _"I never feel unloved."_

Kyle nodded. "And how is he.. in the bedroom?"

Stan groaned. _"Come on, Kyle."_

"What? You can tell me... it's not like it's taboo for us, _my little black kitten,_ " Kyle purred the words which caused Stan to shiver, it was a nickname Kyle only used for Stan while they were having sex.

The raven-haired boy caved and answered. _"He's... much more responsible there than at school."_

The Jew thought about that for a moment before smiling. _"I see."_

 _"Is that all you wanted to know?"_

"I may have some more questions later."

 _"Great,"_ Stan deadpanned. _"Anyways... I'm glad you're feeling better, Kyle."_

Kyle's eyes watered a bit as he smiled happily. "Thank you Stan. I.. I love you."

 _"I love you too,"_ Stan replied. _"See you later."_

And the line went dead.

* * *

 **ok so dont hate me for making randy the bad guy here, i do actually really like him as a character but thinking realistically, what's used for humor on the show can be used for good dark themes in my dark ass stories so naturally he's going to be the bad guy**

 **also, i dont know a whole lot about hospital procedures, so i hope im not offending any nurse majors or anything reading, same with criminal procedure, i've done jury duty before and i know for certain that someone can't be convinced of a crime unless there's solid proof so i'm just using that card to make the angst work. i'm trying to be as realistic as possible but this is still a fictional story so dont hate me pwease '^';;**

 **as always thank you for the reviews and support!**

 **~tbc~**


	12. Chapter 12

"GOOOOD MOOOORNING!" Cartman bellowed as be busted through the door to Kyle's hospital room, Stan following behind him.

Stunned, Kyle rolled over in bed to see the two come in and peered at the clock, noting it was just a little before noon. Smiling, he answered. "Morning, Eric. And Stan!" He called happily when his eyes caught sight of his boyfriend, who smiled warmly at him.

Cartman proceeded to plop down on the bed next to Kyle and pull him into an aggressive hug.

"Oof! Cartman, be careful!" Kyle said, but he was giggling a little as he snuggled into him. After sleeping together, they both felt perfectly normal doing this.

The raven-haired boy took a seat on the other side of the bed and took Kyle's hand in his own, rubbing it soothingly with the back of his thumb. "Have they said when you're going to be let out yet?"

"Maybe tomorrow," Kyle answered, looking into Stan's handsome orbs. "It'd be great if I can get back to school by Monday."

Cartman made a face. "Why do you _want_ to go back to school?"

"I don't want to fall behind."

"Oh, kind of like what I'm doing."

Kyle's mouth hung open. "You've been slacking?"

Cartman raised his hands defensively. "My tutor has been in the hospital!"

"You can still do things on your own!"

"But I don't wanna!"

Stan looked down as Kyle and Cartman harmlessly bickered with one another. He hadn't felt the need to stop them in months, to his chagrin.

"Stan?" Kyle's voice snapped him from his thoughts.

Looking up, Stan blinked. "Hmm?"

"Cartman's gonna go get us some food. What do you want?"

Kyle nudged him in the rib at the nickname before Stan shrugged and answered.

"Anything is fine, really."

"Alright then, I'm off. I'll be backー"

"Hey, Cartman wait." Stan stopped him as he stood up from his chair and put a hand on his shoulder. "You can stay here. I'll go get it."

Cartman quirked a brow and looked at his hippie. "How come?"

"You got it last time. Let me go this time."

Tilting his head, Cartman nodded. "Makes sense. Alright cutie, don't be too long though. I'm fucking starving!" He complained.

Stan just smiled at him. "I'll bring you back something good." He said as he started to leave, then turned to look back at Kyle, who was watching him sadly, as if he expected Stan to take off without a word again.

Realizing his mistake, he walked back over to the redhead and put a knee on the bed so he could easily lean forward and kiss Kyle gently.

Closing his eyes, Kyle blushed and put his hands on Stan's shoulders, enjoying the kiss. Relief filled his heart at the gesture and when they pulled back, a big smile painted Kyle's face.

Nodding in satisfaction, Stan placed another kiss on his forehead. "Be right back," he said quietly, and exited the room.

"Gross!" Cartman joked, putting his hands in his pockets as he shut the door behind his boyfriend. "Don't you see what those curtains are for?"

Kyle smirked at him. "You're just mad cause he didn't give you a kiss."

Cartman plopped down on his chair next to the bed and scoffed. "Yeah well, I got my dose of Stan earlier this morning."

Kyle looked at him curiously. "You did?"

"Yeah, went to his house after those hoes gave me the boot."

"Ah, that's right. What did you two do?" Kyle asked, becoming more nonchalant about discussing private matters with either boy.

"Ahh, I just wanted to find out what got him in a twist this week," Cartman explained, making himself comfortable in the chair. He stilled and frowned as he eyes the ceiling. "And I just realized I didn't actually figure out what it was."

Kyle laughed. "It's okay, he told me."

"What the hell? He did?"

"Yeah."

"What was it then?"

"He said his dad killed the raccoon he was taking care of," Kyle explained.

Cartman's eyebrows furrowed. That sucked, but he recalled Stan's words to him earlier that day.

 _"I can't tell you._

 _Because my dad will kill me."_

Why would his dad kill him for saying that? And why would he tell Kyle and not him?

Tilting his head, Kyle's eyes searched Cartman's for any sign of awareness. "Eric?"

Blinking, said teen responded. "Yeah, yeah, sorry... it's just... are you sure that's the problem?"

"I... assume so. It's what he told me on the phone. Why?"

"Something doesn't feel right here."

"I mean, he said he was okay now. And he seems back to normal, doesn't he?" Kyle responded, gripping the bedsheets under him. He thought maybe things were getting better.

"Yeah, but... he probably just doesn't want us to worry. You know how he is."

Cartman then informed Kyle of everything that had taken place at the Marsh residence before they went to the hospital. As he told him what happened, Kyle became more aggravated.

"So there's probably still something wrong... and we just let him walk out the door alone."

The D student waved a hand. "Don't worry. He'll be outwardly fine for a couple days, at least. He got his dose of CCC."

Raising a brow, Kyle looked at him in confusion. "CCC?"

"Cartman's Cuddly Comfort." He answered with a silly, proud smile. "It's the drug prescription I've given him. When he's upset, or crying... I don't have to make him talk about what's wrong. I'll just hug him until he stops crying, usually he'll fall asleep. Or we both will. Then he'll be fine for awhile after that."

Kyle seemed a little more interested in this subject than the other male would've betted. "CCC, huh?"

"Yeah. Of course it's available to you too, but not a free gig. It comes with a price."

"...which is?"

"Well, obviously I don't like watching Stan cry but I'm willing to do it if he needs a shoulder to do it on. In return I just make him laugh a little bit afterwards sometimes, that's all." Cartman smiled fondly at the memories of unleashing a tickle attack on Stan after he was through crying. He wouldn't do it each time, but on occasion he would, to keep Stan guessing. "That's the penalty for making me watch him like that."

Cartman thought of what Kyle must be thinking, about how silly all of this sounded, but Kyle's eyes screamed a different emotion. He looked absolutely intrigued and somewhat surprised at the news.

Looking down at his lap, Kyle spoke. "That's... really sweet, Eric."

Adjusting his stomach bulge, he answered. "Nah, just, it's whatever, you know?"

"No." Kyle said firmly. "That sounds like something Stan really needs."

Realizing he needed to tone down his joking attitude, Cartman cleared his throat. "Yeah well, even though I feel pretty useless most of the time, I know that's something I can give him."

"Something you can give him, yes..." Kyle mumbled, still looking down at the bed, causing Cartman to become confused.

"What'cha thinkin' about, Jew?"

"I was just wondering... if there's something like that I could give him."

"What do you mean?"

Kyle looked at him. "I mean exactly what I said. I want to be able to do something like that, too..."

"Uh, Kyle, I think you're hopped up on medicine again." Cartman snorted. "You have everything to offer Stan. You can cook, help him with school, and the lucky duck gets your body too, right?"

Blushing to his ears, Kyle nodded. He would stow that last bit of Cartman's comment away for a future preserve. "Yeah, but... those aren't things that he _needs_."

"Sure they are!" The larger male exclaimed as he scooted his chair closer to the bed. "If he's gonna choose to not eat meat, he needs a damn good cook to fix him up the best food he can possibly get that doesn't involve meat. And that work we get from math class? Forget it! We need someone smart to help us! And news flash, you're the smartest kid in the whole damn town!"

Kyle wanted to smile. He felt flattered that Cartman valued his abilities so highly, and was trying to make him feel better, but he couldn't shake the feeling he wasn't a good nurturer.

Cartman's 'CCC' outweighed everything Kyle was capable of when it came to nurturing his boyfriend. What did Kyle do for his emotional state? Yell at him, make things worse, make Stan feel like he had to keep secrets and avoid him when he was feeling down about something.

He was trying to get better, he was. But a good meal and a tutor session wasn't going to make up for years of contributing to his misery. As his thoughts consumed his soul more and more, the child prodigy found himself curling up and hugging his knees to his chest, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks.

"Ay, are you listening to me?" Eric asked, shaking Kyle's shoulder. When he thought he heard a small sob, he blood ran cold.

 _Oh fuck._ He thought, realizing the redhead was crying now. Cartman wondered sometimes if someone hadn't taped an onion to his back.

"I'm- I'm s-sorry Eric," Kyle mumbled between tears. "I don't mean to have the same conversation with you over and over, I really don't. And what you're saying is sweet, but the truth is, I'll never be as good for Stan as you are. H-He seeks comfort in you. You're the one that wipes his tears. But I've never had him cry on my shoulder. Not once. I-It's like I told you. He avoids me and won't tell me things."

Cartman took a moment to process Kyle's words and sighed. Same song, different verse. Moving from the chair to the bed, he embraced Kyle a second time. "It's okay Kyle. I know what you're feeling. But I'm really not the one you should be telling all of this to. You need to talk to Stan."

Sniffling, Kyle gripped the other male's shirt in his fist. "What the hell am I supposed to say? That I'm sorry for being a bitch our whole lives?"

Cartman chuckled and rubbed his back. "No. Just tell him that he can talk to you about anything and that you'll listen and be there for him."

Resting his face against his chest, the patient sighed and relaxed. "Y-Yeah. Thanks, Eric."

"No problem," he answered sweetly before smirking. "Heh, CCC. Works like a charm, doesn't it?"

Unable to help it, Kyle laughed happily at his words. "I guess it does."

"Now, the method of payment..."

Kyle's eyes widened as he tried to yank away from Cartman, but screamed with laughter as said male dug his fingers into his sides.

"Mm, yes. The best currency," Cartman said cockily as he continued his attack.

* * *

Gripping the small basket tightly, Stan hesitated before going through the isles of the nearby food store. His eyes roamed around for something Cartman would likeー it wasn't hard to pick, he would eat anything that wasn't from the earth. But he was also apparently trying to watch his diet to some extent. Considering the choices, he decided on a different isle before turning around, and the next thing he knew he heard a clunk, went dizzy for a moment, and he fell back on the floor.

Regaining his sight as he shook his head, he sat up and groaned painfully. He put a palm to his now aching head and it then occurred to him he'd run into somebody, knocking a lot of boxes to the floor in the process as well.

"I'm so sorry!" A feminine voice said to him. "I didn't see you there. Are you alrightー?" She seemed to tail off as she looked at him. "Stan? Is that you?"

Looking up, Stan blinked in surprise at the sight of the girl he'd run into. "Wendy?"

"I can't believe it! It's been so long!" Wendy exclaimed as she stood up from the floor. Looking around, the black haired male took a moment to process everything. His ex-girlfriend was standing over him, wearing a vest and a nametag, and a large amount of boxes of cereal were scattered on the floor around them.

Oh, okay. She worked there. And he just knocked over all her boxes.

Pushing himself back up onto his feet, he swallowed the lump in his throat. "H-Hey. I.. didn't know you worked here."

"I just started yesterday," she explained. "This will be my first muck-up." She pointed at the floor of fallen cereal boxes.

"A-Ah, sorry... let me help you," Stan said as he began to pick up the boxes for her.

"Such a gentleman," she commented and picked up the ones Stan didn't get to. "Oh, I'm taking these to isle three."

"Okay...," Stan followed behind her as he helped her carry the boxes to the shelf, handing them to her when they got there.

"Thanks, Stan," she smiled as she put the food in its proper place.

"No problem," he replied, looking off to the side mostly. He was glad there was no tension but it was odd that she was acting like nothing had happened.

"I'm going on break in five minutes. Want to catch up?" She asked, adjusting her vest.

If Stan hadn't had a death grip on his basket's handled before, he definitely did now. "Okay."

* * *

 **asjdhh wendyy hey**

 _ **I wonder if she'll be harmful or helpful to their relationship? TvT**_

 **I'm throwin a lot of shit into here sorry guys~ I want this one to be a bit longer and more exciting than love wins, so I hope I'm doing a good job at that**

 **as always thank you reviewers; nekotoy, Miss Moka, symphknot, untitled 1234, it's all for you guys!**

 **yeah i'm updating pretty fast lately, for some reason when classes are going on i'm more motivated to write and draw and stuff, so hopefully I can keep up this quick updating**

 **tbc~**


	13. Chapter 13

**warnings for this chapter: just a liiiitle bit of suggestive themes in a flashback**

* * *

"So, what's new Stan?" Wendy asked in a friendly tone as she came back to the small table she'd instructed him to wait at while she grabbed them something to drink while they talked.

"Nothing really...," Stan answered. It was complete bullshit, but he seriously didn't feel like having this conversation with his ex-girlfriend. He grimaced a bit when she set down the cup of fresh hot coffee in front of him, too. He hated coffee; it brought up bad memories. But as to not be rude, he murmured a silent 'thank you' and drank it anyway.

"I see," Wendy nodded after taking her seat, not really buying it. Stan hadn't changed much, after all. "How's Kyle? He's been in the hospital right?"

"Y-Yeah. He's a lot better."

"That's great! We've all been so worried. I'm sure it hasn't easy for you, either."

Stan tilted his head down but said nothing. She didn't know the half of it.

"I'm surprised you aren't there with him right now," she commented, taking a drink of her coffee.

"I am.., was..," the male stumbled. "I came here to get food for him."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I'm just stalling, aren't I? You can go. I don't want Kyle to get lonely."

Stan nodded. Well, Kyle wasn't alone. Cartman was there to keep him companyー which Stan was thankful for. "It's fine."

"Well, it was really nice seeing you Stan," she smiled and got up. "I gotta be getting back to work anyways, so, let's talk again soon, okay?" Wendy smiled at him and waved herself off.

Stan had been too distracted by his thoughts to answer her, but something came to him as he called out to her.

"Hey, Wendy?"

Stopping and turning her head, she answered. "Yeah?"

"A-Awhile back... when all that vaccination and stuff was going on, you know... did Kyle.. say anything to you about me?"

Blinking, Wendy tried to remember. Stan was asking her to recall a fairly old memory, but it came along. "Yeah, he did actually."

"...What was it?"

Wendy hesitated. It wasn't the happiest subject and she hated to be brutally honest, but she figured Stan wouldn't be asking about something that happened so long ago if it wasn't important to him. With a sympathetic gleam, she answered. "He... he said he couldn't be around you when you're sad. He said it was having a negative impact on him."

Stan winced, but this wasn't news to him. He already knew that he wasn't a cake walk, especially when he was in a bad mood, and that was the real reason he hadn't spent as much time with Kyle in the hospital as he normally would've. What his father had done had set a whole new wave of anger and pain pounding through Stan, and it wasn't at all easy to ignore. "That's all?"

"Well, he said something else that surprised me a little, too."

Eyes flashing in horror, Stan swallowed. "What was it?"

"He said he needed to let you go."

* * *

Hands in his pockets while the bag of food hanged off his wrist, Stan took his time in getting back to the hospital. He could hear his own heart pounding painfully slow in his own ears.

 _"He said he needed to let you go."_

Had he really been that terrible? This shouldn't have come as news to him. He remembered the conversation he had with Kyle shortly afterwards, despite being under the influence. They had both said hurtful things to each other. He was certain that's what Cartman had been referring to when he informed Stan of Kyle's feelings about that day on their walk home.

He said he wasn't angry with Kyle, and he meant it. He hardly ever got upset with the redhead. And Kyle had told him personally how sorry he was about those times, but Stan always forgave him. Kyle can't stand the thought of Stan being angry with him. He wasn't angry. He didn't want Kyle to worry about it.

Stan didn't allow himself to think about how painful it was until that moment. That at some point in their lives, Kyle was fully keen on completely disowning Stan, because he couldn't stand him that much. Maybe Kyle would never have those thoughts again, but it didn't make Stan a more likable person.

It didn't mean that he still didn't have a negative impact on everyone around him.

It was true he had gotten his depression under control since he'd formed his two new relationships. Though what his father had done to Kyle shattered him. He hated keeping it a secret. He hated thinking about the consequences if he didn't.

He hated the fact that he was going to have to suffer alone, for everyone else's sake.

He was sure neither Kyle or Cartman would give up on him so easily. But that was sort of the issue. They won't push Stan away. Which means they will just keep him around and absorb his negative energy.

Stan wasn't going to let that happen.

 _It was their first night as a couple. Kyle hadn't hesitated to unleash his desires on the black-haired male the second they were alone. Pushing Stan down on the bed, Kyle quickly occupied the space above him and placed a deep, loving kiss on his lips. Stan moaned into it, Kyle's lips felt so wonderful on his. The redhead's small, soft hand gently made its way underneath Stan's shirt and caressed the skin on his chest. Stan shivered in anticipation, eyes fluttering shut. Kyle had been waiting to do this for so long, all of his pent-up desires and love that he originally thought to be one-sided spilling out in these small actions, soon to progress into much more. Stan slightly flinched in shock when Kyle's fingers gently brushed over his damaged upper-arms._

 _"Stan..."_

 _Swallowing nervously, his self-consciousness began to arise within him. He'd never felt more ashamed, he absolutely never wanted Kyle to find out about his dark hobby. Because of what he knew it would do to him. To them._

 _"From now on... I want you to talk to me."_

 _Slight confusion written on his face, Stan looked up at Kyle's green eyes, showing him he was listening._

 _"Whenever you have a problem... no matter how small you think it is... if something is bothering me, you come and talk to me about it."_

 _Hands nervously fiddling with the bed sheet underneath him, Stan bit his lip. "Kyle... I-"_

 _"I know I was never very supportive in the past... and I'm sorry... you don't know how sorry I am...," Kyle continued, tracing his free hand gently along Stan's cheek. "That's going to change, Stan... I promise. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything. I want you to seek comfort in me."_

 _Stan felt a sheer amount of joy in that moment, he wasn't sure what to do. His eyes watered and a tear ran down his cheek, stopping at Kyle's fingers. He was so lost in that moment with Kyle. "Okay."_

 _"Okay," Kyle confirmed in a low whisper. Tracing his thumb on Stan's cheek, he leaned down to kiss him again. Full of love, and kindness._

 _Things seemed like they were going to be perfect._

* * *

While the elevator rose, Stan weighed his options. Stan knew perfectly well that going to Kyle about his problems would make him feel better. But at the same time, he wasn't willing to make Kyle feel worse in the process. Kyle hated when Stan put himself down. And that was his biggest problem. He wasn't sure how much of his self-esteem was left, if there was even any.

Before he entered the room as he raised his fist to knock on the door, he looked through the small window and noticed Kyle and Cartman together, laughing, having a good time, being happy. His eyes had their normal pained look but he couldn't help but slightly smile at the sight. He'd have never thought Cartman was so good for Kyle.

Entering the room with the food in tow, Stan closed the door behind him as he set the bag down on the table and took his jacket off.

"Fucking _finally!_ " Cartman exclaimed as he hopped out of the bed and looked inside the bag. "You get stuck in syrup on the way or something?"

Smiling nervously, Stan answered. "Sorry."

"Ah, it's fine. Food!" The larger male was like a kid in a candy store as he dug through the bag, admiring what Stan had chosen for him. He'd settled for a large supply of Ramen noodles.

"Thanks hippie," Cartman said as he took the bag and kissed him on the cheek.

Stan blushed a tad bit. "No problem."

"I'll go heat it up for us," Cartman offered as he walked out of the room.

Stan slightly turned to Kyle who was sitting on the bed looking at him, and the redhead smiled. Stan smiled back, and walked to his normal place on the right side of Kyle's bed, taking his hand in his own.

Words weren't needed for the first several minutes. Kyle was obviously glad Stan came back. At some point Kyle had squirmed uncomfortably in the bed, hinting for Stan to scoop him up, which he had. Kyle snuggled himself in Stan's arms as they watched the small TV playing quietly on the ceiling.

After a few moments of silence, Kyle's eyes turned a bit sad and he focused his gaze on Stan's chest, gently squeezing his forearm. "Hey Stan?"

Looking down, he blinked. "Yeah?"

"Um... have you been avoiding me lately?" Kyle asked sheepishly, his fingers nervously crumpling Stan's sleeve. His aura screamed 'sadness' as he dared to ask the question that had been bothering him.

"I'm not trying to," Stan answered carefully. Well, that had been somewhat a lie- he had been avoiding Kyle, but not for whatever reason the redhead was probably thinking.

"It.. kind of seems like it," Kyle replied sadly, tilting his head back to look up at his boyfriend, green orbs searching for love.

Stan pulled Kyle closer, hugging him tighter, but not too tight as to upset his wounded areas. "I'm sorry." He murmured into Kyle's hair.

Already feeling better, Kyle's arms wrapped themselves around Stan's neck. It left the black-haired male's hands open to rub Kyle's back, which always earned a purr from the redhead. The back wasn't a place that people normally touched, which is why Kyle loved having contact with his. It gave him a feeling of love, closeness, and security, when Stan's hands rubbed his back.

Pressing a kiss to Kyle's temple, Stan smiled at him reassuringly. "It's not going to seem that way anymore."

Smiling with slightly watery eyes, Kyle nodded. "Thank you."

Cartman then entered the room, skillfully balancing three bowls of hot ramen in his arms. "Soup's on. Literally this time," he commented. "Ayy, don't cuddle without me. I'm the heart and soul of cuddling now."

Stan and Kyle somewhat backed away from each other shyly and allowed Cartman to make his way onto the bed. The entire bed was then occupied comfortably with the three males close together. Cartman laid between the two smaller boys while they laid on him like the world's best pillow. They enjoyed the rest of their evening watching TV and eating their ramen in each other's company.

* * *

 **cartmans good for stan cartmans good for kyle glad thats established now lets get the idea in their heads that stan and kyle are good for each other too**

 **smh stan doesn't go near kyle bc he doesn't want to hurt him but he actually hurts him by staying away wyd**

 **ok also i realized something i've been meaning to say for awhile but I keep forgetting, back in "love wins" when cartman caught stan cutting I originally wrote stan cutting his "forearm" so that it wouldn't be easily noticed**

 **back then i thought forearm meant your upper arm, like the high space between your shoulder and your elbow, and between then and now i learned that's not what it is**

 **so i meant to say upper arm. if anyone was confused by that before, fuck i am sorry**

 **that's was me being dumb but it too late to go back and edit that document**

 **i threw in the flashback with the little bed scene because this chapter was getting descriptive as fuck and i know how boring that can be so i hope that helped a little, hnn**

 **thank you for the reviews as always, love you guyss and by the way i am taking kyman/style/stanman drabble prompts, you can submit them to smol- -strawberry on tumblr! (no spaces obv)**

 **tbc~**


	14. Chapter 14

**nyello everyone**

 **so yeah i'm back here with a new chapter yaas, i recently introduced my best friend to south park and have been showing him all the best episodes, and i've been watching season 21 and really enjoyed the last one "put it down" lmao they still got it. anyway, it brought me back and made me want to continue writing again**

 **the reason for my 13 month or so absence has been for two reasons: one being bc i became heavily involved in other fandoms, like marvel and shounen anime, the other reason is bc i was driven out of the south park fandom by idiotic ship discourse on tumblr, mostly the heiman v kyman arguing**

 **and it's annoying bc ship wars are dumb as hell in the first place but it gets worse when the arguments for one side is complete bs and hypocritical. the last episode made me realize something; the biggest reason ppl argue over south park ships is bc antis see a ship as "unhealthy", especially involving cartman, bc they call cartman abusive, and yet they will go and ship cartman with someone else...**

 **news flash guys, any ship that involves cartman is going to be unhealthy, bc hes cartman. i don't dislike cartman as a character, obviously. but these are the canon facts. and aside from that, ships like kyman aren't canon and are never going to be canon, even if it gets baited, which is why i write my fics very developmentally and aged up and OOC, bc canonly, cartman isn't relationship material, even if he is canonly with heidi atm, it's still unhealthy. ya threatening to kill himself over a breakup? totally unhealthy lol so don't come at me with that bullshit**

 **it's not really just cartman either, stan and kyle aren't relationship material at all. i love these bois but they all got so many issues lmao, not at all suited for relationships. and i say this safely bc these characters weren't written to be shipped, they were written to make us laugh with horrible jokes. this is why cartman and heidi's relationship is unhealthy and neither of them seem happy, it's why stan could never maintain his relationship with wendy and it's why we are now in season 21 and kyle hasn't had a relationship at all. he's tried, and failed every time lol, poor kyle. but, we ship them anyway so we are faced with these issues**

 **and i'm not trying to bash heiman, not all shippers are like this. but there _are_ heiman shippers (AND kyman shippers too, not defending all of them) who just get totally ridiculous about this and like they need to chill smh **

**i hate ship wars yall they dumb. shippers don't care if someone doesn't like what they ship and they never will care. EVERY ship in this fandom is going to have issues, bc the characters have issues. so it's literally the biggest waste of time, asdfjkl anyway, here's a new chapter, yay! and yes i do plan to start updating regularly again, as often as i can, i'm still taking college classes and i just got a new job as a server so we'll see. and no i don't plan to make a habit of ranting in my author's note with every new chapter i post. just this one lol, which is getting too long so**

 **please enjoy uwu**

* * *

The three boys spent the rest of the day like that. Two of them wound up dozing off once it got late enough, with the exception of one black-haired boy who had far too much on his mind to sleep, even in the company of the two people he cared about the most. He sighed when the sun began to creep up over the east, and slither through the cracks of the blinds on the window. Reaching over to the bedside table and picking up his phone, he was displeased, and yet not very surprised to find some angry text messages from his family about returning home.

 _So they can disappear whenever they want, but the moment I go somewhere, all hell breaks loose_ , Stan thought bitterly. He winced as he realized he would have to partially break his promise to Kyle, in which he told him he wouldn't avoid him anymore. Ultimately, it was for everyone's own good, so he got up without disturbing the other two boys and threw on his jacket before heading out. As assurance, he sent Kyle a text explaining why he'd left so he wouldn't wake up wondering and growing sad again. Not that he thought it would help much.

Walking down the streets of South Park, he pulled out his phone lazily and scrolled through his contacts. He added Wendy as a new one, after exchanging new numbers with her before he'd left the store. He wouldn't have ever thought to see her name in his phone again, but they _were_ older now, and Stan could open up to trying to let go of their awkward past.

He only wished he felt that way about other situations. He considered calling Wendy to talk, but decided against it. He didn't want to immediately scare her away with all of his business, even if she seemed willing to listen. He really wanted to talk to Kyle, mostly. He'd been giving a lot of thought as to whether to go to Kyle with his problems or not. The memory of Kyle instructing him to do so was hammered into his brain, yet he remained stubborn and unwilling to do so to a full extent.

He purposely walked home very slow, but did reach his house eventually. He'd only prolonged the inevitable by taking his time, and let out a shaky breath as he entered the front door, closing it behind him. Tossing his jacket carelessly on the couch, he went up the stairs quietly. It was still pretty early, so maybe he could continue to avoid his family for awhile. To his dismay, he entered his room to find Sharon, awake, sitting on his bed and waiting for him.

Swallowing, Stan hung his head and said nothing, just stood in his doorway quietly with his eyes on the floor. His family was not usually around, so when they were, he was unsure of how to act. Especially with everything that had been going on lately.

"Stanley," Sharon greeted him surprisingly gently. "Where were you last night?"

Not seeing a point in lying, Stan answered. "I spent the night at the hospital."

"With Kyle?"

"Yes."

"Well, let me know next time."

"Sorry. I will."

Stan heard a creek on the bed and knew his mother had stood up. He tensed a bit as her footsteps got closer and he could see her legs standing right in front of him. His eyes averted upwards slowly to meet her gaze, and relaxed a bit when he saw her calm eyes.

"I just want you to be careful, Stanley. Your father would be... unhappy to know you were spending any alone time with Kyle. You know that."

Stan had unpleasant thoughts running through his mind in return, but kept them to himself. "Are you going to tell him?" He asked.

"No." Sharon answered, putting a hand on her son's cheek. "But I think you and I need to go to the police."

This caught the boy's attention, and he tilted his head up to fully focus on his mother. "But... he said-"

"It doesn't matter what he said. After he's been arrested, I'm filing for a divorce, and taking you and Shelley away."

* * *

An hour or so after Stan left, Kyle woke up with a long yawn, stretching his arms and was surprised to find half of his warmth gone. Quickly, he sat up, and saw no sign of Stan. He put a hand on his chest, feeling very upset suddenly, and he looked at his phone to find the text from Stan.

 _I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. Family is mad, I had to go home. Talk to you later._

He slumped back down into the bed, the concern in him only growing. Any situation involving Stan's family wasn't good. He hated that he'd been injured and was virtually useless to help Stan with whatever he was going through. On top of that, he suddenly felt as though he'd been unconsciously hogging Cartman to himself lately, which rendered Stan pretty alone.

Sighing, Kyle laid back down forcefully and put his face in a pillow. This woke up Cartman, who grunted in disapproval.

"Stop moving around so much, Jew," he muttered, still half-asleep.

Kyle only responded by groaning into his pillow, his voice dripping with frustration. Cartman stirred awake somewhat more in concern.

"S'wrong with you? Are you in pain?" He asked, reaching for the nurse button.

"No," Kyle said, voice slightly muffled by the pillow. "In fact, I want to check out today."

Raising a brow, Cartman sat up and stretched before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "If you think you're ready. It'd be nice, I been dying to eat your cooking again. Not so much another one of your tutor sessions, though."

Looking around, now fully awake, Cartman kicked off the covers. "Where's Stan?"

"He went home," Kyle answered, removing the pillow and sitting up, rubbing his arm. "His family is mad."

"When are they not?" Cartman asked, sighing as he stood up from the bed. "Isn't there any way we can, like, drop out of school and move?"

"If you want to be a hobo, then yes." Kyle responded, slowly getting up from the bed.

 _Dammit,_ Cartman thought.

The redhead still felt pain in multiple areas, but definitely not as bad as before. He'd recovered a lot and didn't want to be in this hospital any longer. Cartman sensed his struggle and walked over to the other side of the bed where Kyle was. Putting an arm around him to support him, and one hand carefully gripping his upper arm to help him get steady, he helped Kyle stand to his feet.

"Careful, Jew. Don't want you falling over and injuring yourself all over again."

Earning an emerald-green glare, Kyle looked away afterwards. "I'm fine. I don't need help."

"I think you do." The larger male argued, noticing Kyle was being a bit testy.

Sighing, Kyle slumped his shoulders and allowed Cartman to give him a slight push of support, and Kyle tested his ability to walk. For the most part, he did it with no problem, except for an occasional extra bend of the knee along with a small wince of pain.

"I think you should stay at least another night." Cartman said.

"I'm not staying here any longer."

Raising a brow, the brunette continued. "What's the big deal? Tomorrow's Monday. You can sleep here and go to school tomorrow."

"I'm not staying, Cartman."

"You can't fully walk on your own."

"Then I'll get crutches!" The smaller male snapped, reaching for the nurse button to explain to her that he would like to check out. It got awkwardly quiet after that.

* * *

The process of Kyle's family arriving to pick him up from the hospital and check him out of it was quiet. Kyle didn't say a word to Cartman, which confused him. He felt a bit offended, that he'd been actually tending to Kyle the past couple of days, and he was getting this attitude in response. He wondered if pecking at him was a good idea or not, but he'd find out later. He mostly wondered where this attitude came from suddenly. The Broflovskis were kind enough to give Cartman a ride home, and he returned home pretty upset. Not even a goodbye or a wave from Kyle as they drove away. What the hell?

Grumbling, he pulled out his phone to call Stan. He wasn't entirely surprised when he didn't answer, but this only made him more upset and he huffed, making his way over to the kitchen, feeling pretty hungry. He felt a really strong urge to pig out and eat his anger away. It was how he dealt with his anger before, until Stan and Kyle sort of pulled him out of that habit. He knew starting again was a bad idea, but he was too mad to care and began stuffing himself.

When Kyle got home, he groaned in slight pain as he got out of the car and made his way into the house. He started going up the stairs as his mom called to him from the doorway.

"Are you sure you're alright, hon?" Sheila called to her son, worried. "If won't hurt to stay at the hospital a bit more-"

"I'm fine, mom! Leave me alone!" Kyle responded angrily before disappearing up the stairs. He put a hand on his head, wiping away the sweat. He felt bad for snapping at his mother- he almost never had a reason to get upset with his family, but this whole thing with Stan and Cartman was eating him. One minor thought led a plague of bad ones, and they would not cease their attack on his mind. Once he made it to his room and shut the door, he limped his way to the bed and sat down, pulling out his phone. He called Stan, anxiously fiddling with his fingers while it dialed. When he got no answer, he pulled on his red curls. He wasn't upset with Stan, or his mother, or even Cartman, but with himself and Stan's family. He tried calling again, hanging his head when he was once again greeted by a voice mail. After the tone, he took a deep breath as he wiped away the tears welling in his eyes.

"Stan... I don't know what's going on with you or your family lately but I'm not stupid. I know there's something. Something you're not telling me and I don't like that, okay? Please call me when you get this. We really need to talk. Please," he left his message desperately before hanging up and throwing his phone on the floor in anger. It cracked a bit, and he found himself gazing at his reflection on the small now cracked screen on the floor.

 _Damn it_ , he thought, picking it up once again and beginning to write a text to Stan.

 _I'm sorry if I sounded mad. I'm not mad at you. I'm just worried. Please call me._

He hated that he was still injured. If he was fully well, he'd have marched to Stan's house and resolved anything and everything right then and there. No matter what it took. Even if he had to beat someone. He felt deeply upset about all this. His thoughts drifted to Cartman.

He'd be lying if he denied he'd been developing a desire for him lately. Sure, things were extraordinarily complicated between them, but they had all lived extraordinarily complicated lives. He considered his relationship with Stan complicated too, but they made it work. But Cartman? He wasn't sure. He'd displayed a genuinely enjoyable aura lately, which Kyle liked, but he started to wonder if he was getting in over his head. When Cartman put his arms around him, he felt the same things he felt when Stan did so. He swallowed. He was in trouble. Things were so complicated and it was driving him out of his mind.

Knowing he'd left Cartman confused this morning, and after spending some time thinking, he dialed Cartman's number and was greeted with another voice mail. Taking another deep breath, he suppressed his emotions and left a message.

"Hey, it's me. I'm sorry about the way I was earlier. I'm just... frustrated." _That was an understatement_. "Things are getting really complicated lately and I just want everything to go back to normal. It's making my head spin. So... yeah. Bye." He said, at a loss for further words. He hung up, not considering the possibility that that message could be taken in a multitude of ways.

Laying back on the bed, Kyle closed his eyes and tried to relax. He tried thinking positively. For starters, even though he wasn't fully back to good health, he was out of the hospital now. He'd try to patch his status with Cartman later. He hoped to hear from Stan later, too. For now, he figured he'd sleep off his troubles and dozed into a discontented nap...

* * *

 **if i happen to write any inconsistencies starting in this chapter and from now on, it's because it's been over a year and i'm sorry. tbh i am a partially capricious writer so there's a possibility something will contradict, as a warning. i'll do my best to avoid it but ya never know *shrug***

 **i'm also considering having a beta bc, i don't make a whOOLE lot of typos, but when i do they are cringey hhhh, and the fact i type 152 wpm doesn't help my cAse so if anyone is interested in that, lmk!**

 **soooooOOOO, what's gonna happen next? they're all drifting into a dark place, oh nooo, what am i doing? *has an angst issue*,, well,, we'll just seE what happens next c:**

 **thank you again for all the reviews, i'm sorry again for my disappearance, i hOpe i can make up for it. until next time~**

 **gomi**


	15. Chapter 15

**chapter 15 hhhheyy**

 **to miss moka- yaas ahh thank you for the warm welcome back! i'm glad you're still reading and enjoying my stories asdfghjkl; and thank everyone who has been sending me nice PMs and discussions \\(uwu)/**

 **heeere we goo, enjoy!**

* * *

Cartman groaned in a sickening pain as he trudged up the stairs and into his bedroom. He'd never experienced an over-eating pain like this before. If anything, stuffing himself to the point of looking as if he was carrying a child and unable to consume another bite always made him feel better before. It was a satisfying feelingー until now. If Kyle's attentive care to his physical stature had any effect on him at all, it was certainly undone now. After laying down on the bed, he took out his phone, figuring he'd try to call Stan again. He saw that he had a message from Kyle but pettily ignored it and dialed his boyfriend.

He was shocked when it was actually answered.

 _"Hello?"_

"Staaan!" Cartman groaned, his voice coming off as a whine. "You answered!"

 _"Uh, yeah. Sorry. It's been a crazy day."_

"Tell me about it," Cartman replies before burping loudly. "Uhhn, excuse me cutie. The Jew pissed me off so I ate a bunch of food. A fucking lot of it. Ughh, it's not lovin' me back though."

 _"...are you alright?"_

"I'mー _burp_ ーfine, cutie. Jus' my way of letting off steam, I guess. That ginger Jersey Jew is a real piece of work, you know that?"

 _"What happened?"_ Stan asked in confusion. It shouldn't have come as a surprise that the two others appeared to be fighting, and yet, it was.

"Ahh, he checked out finally but was actin' up at the hospital earlier. Dunno why. But he felt the need to take whatever he was angry about suddenly on me, so... yeah. Pissed me off. Don't know how you deal with that."

 _"That's just how Kyle is."_

'That's just how he is.' Seemed like the excuse he always had for the ginger. "Yeah. PMS with legs. One that bites you in the ass every day instead a' once a month."

 _"We all have our baggage, Cartman. Being in a relationship... is learning to accept it and look over it as best you can."_

Cartman pinched the bridge of his nose. He made a mental note that Stan isn't the type of person you should gripe to if the response you're looking for it a simple nod of the head and an agreement. "But I'm not in a relationship with Kyle."

Stan sighed. _"Then don't react to his mannerisms as if you were."_

Cartman knew Stan was right and that was frustrating. He really shouldn't care so much about this, but he did. Not that he would go into detail about thatー his complaining was simply for the sake of getting his anger off his chest, not necessarily for being logical about it. Not wanting to hear more non-comforting lectures, he prepared to simply hang up and sleep off his anger. "Yeah, great talk." He said sarcastically. "I'm gonna pass out. I'll see you tomorrow." He said, finger grazing towards the 'end call' button.

 _"Wait, Eric?"_

Eyes blinking in astonishment, his finger moved back. This was new. "What is it?"

 _"Uhh, I need to tell you something."_

Cartman sat up in his bed, heavily curious. This ought to be interesting. "I'm listening."

* * *

Sharon had discussed with Stan about having the police subdue Randy and the three of them moving far away. He understood his mother's reasoning, but there was an obvious problemー Stan didn't really like the idea of moving away from Kyle, Cartman and his other friends at school. His mind buzzed with whether or not he should tell his mother about his relationship status. The conversation ended openly as Stan neither agreed nor denied her idea, and knew they'd pick it up later. Damn, he had a headache.

He felt horribly guilty for keeping Kyle in the darkー his fear of what Randy could do outweighed his remorse, until now. He recalled when Cartman walked him home from school. Stan had noticed the uneasiness from his larger boyfriend and pressed answers from him because he knew the feeling of helplessness when you didn't know what was hurting the person you love. If they don't speak of it, there is no way to help them, and that feeling was unpleasant to Stan.

He was sure the same went for Kyle and Cartman. He rubbed his forehead with the front of his fingers to slightly soothe the pounding ache. He was hypocritical and he knew it. Stan didn't know how to handle situations like this. He didn't have an angel and a devil on his shouldersー just two drunk little orbs of confusion and low self-esteem.

He never knew what to do anymore. He hadn't known since fourth grade.

One thing he did know was that lying and keeping secrets only ended in bad results that harmed everyone. The fear, the guilt, the uncertainty, and now the anxiety of what was to become of his relationships from whatever decision his mother made was growing tiresome. It was then that he made the decision to call Kyle and tell him everything. Better yetー visit him in person, regardless of what Randy or anyone else thought.

Standing up from his bed and going downstairs, he retrieved his jacket. Feeling a bit of weight in one of the pockets, he reached inside to find his phone still sheathed. He pulled it out and saw the missed calls from both his boyfriends, and Kyle's messages. He flinched a bit after listening to the first one. It seemed like no matter what he did, it would upset someone somehow.

Sighing as he played the next one, he listened.

 _"I'm sorry if I sounded mad. I'm not mad at you. I'm just worried. Please call me."_

Stan bit his lip as he ended his voicemail call. Yeah, he was definitely going to go visit Kyle. As he was about to tuck his phone away again, it started reading and he saw Cartman's name on the screen. "Hello?"

 _"Staaan! You answered."_

* * *

Leaving his house and slowly making his way to the Broflovski residence, Stan confided to Cartman over the phone.

"Um... I haven't exactly been honest with either of you lately, and... I'm sorry. The truth is...," he paused for a moment, looking both left and right for cars before crossing the street, and continued. "M-My dad is the one who hit Kyle with the car."

 _"What?"_ Cartman bellowed from the other end. _"You're seriously? Are you sure?"_

"Yes."

Cartman let out a stream of curses into his sleeve, muffling them. Even though he wasn't exactly pleased with Kyle at the moment, the thought of this being true pissed him off. _"Stan, your dad is a prick."_

"I know."

 _"How long have you known about this?"_

"Uhh, all week."

 _"Why didn't you say anything until now?"_ Cartman asked. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a tad upset with Stan for keeping this secret.

"It's complicated... okay? And it's only gotten worse. Unless I figure out what to do here, I... I'm not going to be able to see either of you anymore."

 _"What the hell are you talking about?"_

Reaching Kyle's house, but not quite ready to go in, Stan stood still on their porch and gripped his phone tightly in his hand, tears welling up in his eyes. "Because my mom is filing for a divorce and claiming jurisdiction over me and Shelley. Knowing my dad's record, there's no way she isn't winning the custody order. She wants to move away, Cartman. Far away. To the other side of the country."

The dirty-blonde haired male was at a loss for words. His hand twitched as he was rendered speechless, mouth hanging open but no words forming. This quite complicated situation made his thoughts scatter. He may never see Stan again? The thought made his heart clench painfully in his chest.

On the other hand... Stan would finally be free of his horrible father, and have a chance at a potentially better life...

 _"R-Really?"_ Cartman choked out after some time of silence.

"Yeah..."

 _"Oh... that's... sure something, isn't it?"_ The poor male on the other end struggled to find the right words. He phrased himself carefully since he was unaware of Stan's view on the matter. _"Other side of the country, huh? Like, Florida? I hear it's really nice there... or maybe New York... lots of fun."_

Sitting on the steps of Kyle's porch, Stan turned his back to the door and gripped his phone in both hands. "Don't say that."

 _"Don't say what?"_

"All that stupid crap you just said."

 _"I'm only being supportive here."_

"But it's not what I want!" Stan said firmly, usual dead blue eyes full of emotion. "Damn it, Cartman, don't talk for me."

Cartman was taken aback by Stan's tone. Kyle must be rubbing off on him. However, he pressed on. _"A life away from your dad? Sounds fucking fantastic."_

"Yeah, well... it would also be a life away from you and Kyle, and... fuck that. I'd rather spend every day for the rest of my life getting the crap beat out of me for no reason and going deaf from the yelling if it meant I got to stay with you guys."

Feeling a bit calmer, a small smile played on Cartman's lips. _"You really think my fatass, insensitive self, and that hot-headed Jew-rat are worth that trouble?"_

"If you both... are willing to put up with me in return."

Cartman closed his eyes, collecting himself before answering. _"Of course we are. It's like you said... about dealing with each other's baggage... I don't want you to go away, either."_

The black haired male wiped the tears from his eyes with his sleeve before they could fall. "L-Listen, can you call me back later? There's something I need to do that I should've done a long time ago."

 _"As long as you promise to fucking answer this time, you damn hippie."_

"I promise," Stan replied.

 _"Alright then. Bye, cutie."_ Cartman then ended the conversation, feeling much better than he did before.

Stan hung up, and took a deep breath. He suddenly felt pretty overwhelmed with emotions and he felt them threatening to unleash themselves right then and there. Swallowing them down, he stood up and knocked on the door. Being greeted by Gerald, he was let inside and he wasted no time heading upstairs, passing Ike and ruffling his hair on the way up.

"Hi Stan!" The young Canadian greeted cheerfully. "Are you here to see Kyle?"

"Yes, Ike." Stan answered.

"Good. He isn't doing very well," Ike said with a sad tone, before scampering off.

Heart throbbing, Stan knocked on Kyle's door and didn't wait for an answer before opening it to face the redhead.

Surprised by the sudden intrusion, Kyle sat up from the bed and gazed in awe upon his boyfriend.

"Stan," he said. "You're here..."

"Kyle," Stan addressed him gently, before slowly making his way over to the bed and standing in front of it for a moment, trying to collect his words. Any barrier he created in his mind to keep his emotions from flooding out broke. All the pent up sadness and rage he'd felt since Kyle had been hit with the car spilled out, and he sat on the bed, wrapping his arms around Kyle's shoulders. He buried his face in Kyle's chest, embracing him in an affectionate hug.

The straight-A student didn't expect Stan to drop by but he was certainly happy to see him here. The hug surprised him, and the way the other male embraced him somewhat trapped Kyle's arms at his sides, so he remained still. "S-Stan?"

Stan's shoulders began to shake, and he turned his head to rest his forehead on Kyle's shoulder. His arms slowly slid down and his palms laid flat on Kyle's chest, fingers slightly clinging to his shirt. Tears ran down his cheeks as he let out quiet sobs, with no words yet spoken.

Kyle was in a state of shock. He looked down at his boyfriend, watching him. His heart beat radically in his chest.

Stan was crying on his shoulder.

The very gesture made Kyle's own eyes water, but he restrained his emotions for the sake of comforting Stan. It had been something he'd wanted- for Stan to come to him for consolation. Not that he enjoyed watching Stan cry, but knowing Stan would come to him during it... made him happy. Slowly but surely, he moved his arms and wrapped them around Stan's upper arms and shoulders, gently rubbing his back. "Stan... what's wrong?" He dared to ask; he was sure he'd get a proper answer this time.

Sniffling, Stan looked up at him. "There's some things I need to tell you."

* * *

 **ahh style feelss because i need them**

 **don't worry it will shift back to kyman like it's supposed to i promise lol**

 **reviews are love!**

 **-gomi**


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